"They all seem like lovely people," she murmured, and then added almost hopefully, "I'm sure they would be more accepting than you think."
Christian shook his head firmly. "No. They're very old fashioned. I wouldn't just be disinherited, I'd basically be cut from the family if they found out."
Carolyn frowned. It was hard to believe that Marguerite and Gia would turn their backs on him. She was less sure about Julius and the others though.
"So I really appreciate your willingness to help me with this," Christian continued. "I'll try to make it as easy as I can for you."
Well, that put paid to her backing out now, Carolyn supposed. She'd feel a complete heel if she did. It wouldn't be so bad, she assured herself. They'd hold hands once in a while, maybe he'd put his arm around her a time or two and look at her all sexy and sloe eyed while he talked to her. She could handle it, she assured herself. It wasn't like they were going to be around his family all the time, and when they weren't they could both relax and just be natural... whatever that was.
"It's beautiful here," Christian said suddenly, pausing at the edge of the surf and peering out over the moonlight dappled water.
"Yes," she agreed, taking it all in herself. It really was the perfect place for a honeymoon. Which just made her wish she was here with someone who was actually interested in her and not-"
May I kiss you?"
Carolyn turned to peer up at him sharply. "What?"
"The whole table's watching us. They'll expect it," he explained wryly, his gaze sliding to the side as if looking toward the table.
Carolyn started to turn her head, but he caught her chin and slid his hand into her hair to stop her.
"You'll give away that we know they're watching," he warned quietly. "And Julius is very sharp. He's also suspicious at the moment. I think someone's been carrying tales to him."
Carolyn frowned.
"It's okay if you don't want me to kiss you," he said with understanding. "It would be helpful, but I know it's a lot to ask." He hesitated and then added, "I could just kiss your ear. That would be enough to satisfy Julius. I-"
"The ear," she said quickly, thinking that would surely have less effect than his kissing her lips. It certainly carried less chance of her doing something stupid like kissing him back and giving away her attraction to him.
Carolyn thought he smiled, though she wasn't sure in this light, and then his head lowered. He slid his hand into her hair, drawing it back from her face and ear, using the hold to tilt her head up and slightly to the side. Then his mouth was there and her eyes widened as a whole new world of erogenous zones opened up and swallowed her whole.
Dear God, her stomach actually jumped. Or something moved inside her, and then she was nothing but a mass of sensation as his lips, teeth and tongue explored her ear.
Carolyn was hardly aware of reaching for his arms to steady herself, or that her body moved instinctively closer to his, and when he whispered, "Thank you," by her ear and slowly straightened, she was more disappointed than she'd ever been over anything in her life.
"Christ, I need to get laid." The words slid out before she'd realized she was going to say them, and Carolyn slapped a hand to her mouth and stared at him with horror.
She couldn't believe she'd said that. She couldn't even believe she'd thought it. She just wasn't all that sexual.
Robert had always said she was frigid. She'd never-Seeing how wide Christian's eyes had gone, she pulled her hand away from her mouth and said quickly, "Not by you, of course. I just mean, I-it's been a long time since-I can't believe I even said that," she muttered on a groan. "It's been seven years since I had sex and I haven't even wanted to or anything. I-"
She stopped trying to stammer her way out of that one when he pulled her into his arm and patted her back soothingly.
* * *
"It's all right. I understand. It's been a long time for me too," Christian growled, but was thinking, It had been seven years since she'd had sex? He was sure Marguerite had said Carolyn and her husband had split only two years ago. But she hadn't had sex in seven years?
"Really? It's been a long time for you too?" she asked, pulling back with surprise. "Is that because you have to be so careful? I mean, Brent seemed to be forever flitting off with a new lover before he met Stanley."
Christian released her and stepped back, both regretting that he had to do so and relieved to be able to at the same time. That brief nuzzling had affected him much more than he'd expected. It was the shared pleasure. There was definitely no question that Carolyn was his lifemate.
Only lifemates shared pleasure as he'd just experienced.
Every scrape of his teeth, and every lave of his tongue along her ear had sent pleasure cascading through his own body as if she were actually doing it to him. It was something Christian had never experienced before, so he hadn't realized how powerful a punch it would carry.
Christian had only stopped when he had because he'd been a heartbeat away from bearing her down onto the sand and completely blowing his cover story of being gay.
He'd actually had to argue himself out of doing it. But when she'd blurted out those words about needing to get laid... well, that was when the real struggle had taken place. He'd pulled her into his arms to keep from following through on the first urge. He was definitely going to have to be more careful in future. He would have to keep some distance between them, or at least not breach that distance unless they were around the others, whose presence would help to rein him in.