Nicole was silent for a few more minutes, and then sat up straight again and asked, “So what is this life-mate business anyway?”
“Well . . .” Jake paused and swallowed. This was the tricky part, or perhaps it was just the most important part so felt tricky. If she didn’t accept that they were life mates, and agree to be his, or at least agree to consider it, then it could very well be decided that she should have her memory wiped and be left as ignorant of their existence as she’d been before he’d explained things. It would be necessary to ensure the safety of their kind. But if that happened, he wouldn’t be allowed to be around her again. None of them could, in case their presence made the memories return.
It was an odd thing. Jake felt odd and somewhat confused. While he knew that she was a life mate, or could be if she agreed, he hadn’t really known her long. Jake liked Nicole, or at least he liked everything he knew about her so far. He also found her attractive. But he wasn’t experiencing any mad, passionate desire to have her or anything, and he was wondering about this life-mate business himself. Shouldn’t he feel more? Want her more? Shouldn’t his every waking thought be about her?
That last question made him pause, because Jake suddenly realized that his every waking thought had included her in one form or another since meeting her. Still, he supposed he’d expected more.
“Jake?” Nicole prodded.
“Oh, sorry,” he murmured, and then blew his breath out and tried to gather his thoughts to answer her question. Finally, he said, “Well, I mentioned that the nanos didn’t just give immortals fangs, but other skills to help with survival.”
“You said mind reading and mind control,” she recalled and didn’t look pleased. He understood that. He hadn’t been too pleased himself to know that his mother and everyone else could read his private thoughts. It had been pretty inhibiting to an eighteen-year-old full of raging hormones. Made aware that they might all be reading his thoughts, Jake had suddenly become aware that sex played a huge role in most of his thoughts at that age. And forget about mast**bation in the same house with them. Dear God, what if they all knew? Or read it in his head in the morning? Even thinking about that now made him shudder.
“It’s not just mind reading and control,” he said when Nicole shifted restlessly on her stool. “We’re faster, stronger, have better hearing, sight, night vision, et cetera.”
“Okay,” she said patiently.
“But, the mind reading, that isn’t just of mortals. We can read each other’s minds too. Usually it’s only older immortals able to read younger ones, but it can go the other way too if the older immortal is distracted or not blocking their thoughts,” Jake explained. “So, it means when we’re around each other we have to constantly guard our thoughts, and of course mortals can’t really guard their thoughts from us. It can make relationships tricky.”
“I would think so,” Nicole said dryly.
Jake nodded, but added, “Any relationship. I mean, you can’t imagine what it’s like to be eighteen and know your mother can read your thoughts.”
“I think I know,” she said grimly. “Perhaps not what it’s like to have a mother reading your thoughts or control you, but if you, Dante and Tomasso can read and control me—”
“I can’t,” Jake interrupted.
Nicole tilted her head and peered at him uncertainly. “Why? Is it because you were only turned seven years ago?”
“No. I have gained the skill, and can read most mortals,” he assured her, and then grimaced and added, “I resisted it at first. I didn’t want to be like my family. But in my job it’s a handy skill and so I eventually gave in and have used it pretty regularly . . . on the job,” Jake added to ensure she didn’t think he ran around reading and controlling people willy-nilly.
“Okay,” she said slowly.
“However, I can’t read or control you,” he added.
“So you said,” Nicole reminded him.
Jake grimaced and nodded. “And that is the sign of a life mate.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Which is what?”
“It’s—” He frowned, wanting to get it right, to find the perfect words to make her understand and at least be open to the idea of being his life mate. “A relationship wouldn’t work if both parties could read each other, or even if one could read and control the other.”
“You said that,” Nicole pointed out quietly.
“Yeah, I guess I’m struggling here,” Jake admitted on a sigh, and then shook his head and said, “Forgive me, this is the first time I’ve had to explain any of this.”
“Right. Sorry, I’ll keep that in mind,” she said wryly.
“Thanks,” he muttered, and then said, “Look, basically a true life mate is someone that an immortal can’t read and control. It’s the one person they can relax around and not constantly guard their thoughts.”
“Surely you don’t have to guard your thoughts around mortals?” Nicole asked. “We can’t read you.”
“No, but some mortals think really loud and we have to put up guards against that too. Otherwise it would drive you crazy. People are always thinking, and sometimes just the stupidest, most nonsensical things. We have to keep our guards up against that as well, filter it out, basically.”
“I see.” She tilted her head again. “But you don’t have to do that around a life mate?”
“No. We can relax around them,” he said. Jake gave her a moment to consider that and then added, “Of course there are other things that are special about a life mate.”