Rachel remained silent as her parents herded her from the building. She shouldn't be pale; she had ingested more than enough blood in the van on the way to the hospital. Her pallor was no doubt due to the news Greg had given her, and the impact it had made. Etienne had given up his chance to turn a life mate by saving her, she thought faintly. Dear God, he had turned her, taken the time and care to train her to feed and to control her teeth, yet he could never have a life mate. He had given up any chance at a life partner for her.
All she could think was that he must hate her. And if he didn't, it was only because he hadn't yet had the chance to think about the sacrifice he'd made. The moment he realized all he had given up, he would definitely hate her. A lifetime without someone to love him, the equivalent of several lifetimes really. He'd lived hundreds of years and would live hundreds more without love. Or he would find that love, only to be forced to watch her age and die while he stayed young forever.
Etienne signed the last copy of the statement set before him and pushed it impatiently across the desk to be witnessed. He was eager to get this done and get out of there. No one had gone with Rachel. It had all happened so fast, they hadn't been given the opportunity. They'd all been led into this room and then Officer Janscorn had asked Rachel to follow her and had taken her away. He didn't like the idea of her being alone. It wasn't that he was concerned that anything might happen to her; Pudge was no longer a threat so she was safe enough. But what if someone asked her an uncomfortable question and no one was there to erase the mind of the asker? Rachel was a lousy liar. Besides, he had the nagging fear that she was going to disappear on him. She could feed on her own now. She'd even fed straight from the bag in the van. She could control her teeth as well. And with Pudge removed, the final excuse for keeping her in his home was gone. What if she decided to leave, or refused to return to his home with him? He didn't want her to leave. Etienne had grown far too used to her presence. He enjoyed her. He wanted to spend his life.
"There we are then, sir," Officer Janscom said as she stacked the copies of the statement in a neat pile. "All done. Someone will contact you if we need anything else, but you're free to go now."
Etienne was out the door almost before she'd finished speaking. He had to find Rachel. They needed to talk. He needed to know how she felt about him. If she thought she might someday come to love him as he was quickly coming to love her.
"Etienne!"
He whirled at that exclamation as he came out into the hall, but it was only his sister. Etienne nodded at her, then turned to glance expectantly around. Unfortunately, there was no sign of Rachel anywhere.
"Have you seen Rachel?" Etienne asked his sister as she reached his side and enveloped him in a hug.
"Yes. She was here with Gregory when I left to ask about your whereabouts." Lissianna pulled back and glanced toward her husband in a silent question as he slowly approached. "Where did she go, honey?"
"Her parents arrived. She left with them," he explained, but there was a look on his face that made Etienne wary.
"What is it?" he asked.
Gregory hesitated briefly, then admitted, "I think I might have made a mistake."
"What kind of mistake?" Lissianna asked, slipping her hand reassuringly into his.
"I explained the rule about only being allowed to turn one person in a lifetime and that it was usually a life mate," he admitted.
"You explained the sacrifice Etienne made for her and she still left without a word to him?" Lissianna asked with disbelief. "Knowing that, she couldn't even take the time to say good-bye? Or even offer a thank-you?"
Etienne heard Lissianna's words, but in truth he couldn't comprehend them. He would later. In the meantime, he was simply standing there feeling lost and abandoned. She'd done exactly what he'd feared. Rachel had left him.
His mother was speaking to him now, but Etienne wasn't listening. He felt as if he had cotton wool in his ears. Actually, it felt rather as if his entire brain were stuffed with cotton wool. He nodded his head absently every once in a while as they were walking out of the police station. Etienne doubted he was fooling anyone; they all were probably reading his mind, though he couldn't seem to read his own thoughts. But he must have nodded at the appropriate places because no one called him on it. They all simply talked away as they walked out to Bastien's van and got in for the ride home.
Someone suggested they come in with him when they reached his house, but Etienne muttered something about work and quickly hopped out of the van, slamming the door behind himself. He didn't want company right then. He didn't want to talk or even think. He just wanted to crawl into a hole and escape his life, however briefly. To him that meant working.
Etienne entered his house, suddenly aware of how large and empty it was. Too large for one person, if you got right down to it. He should sell it and get an apartment. He didn't need much space; an office, a bedroom, a fridge... It wasn't like he entertained much.
He winced as memories of Rachel flooded his mind; playing video games, reading quietly together by the fireside in the library, laughing over her trying to consume the reject blood he had fed her, their moonlight picnic... He closed the door on those memories as loss and fear crowded in behind them. But he didn't manage to do so before questions assailed him. Had he lost her forever? Did she feel anything for him at all? Or had it all just been a fun way to pass the time?
Not bothering to lock the door behind himself, Etienne strode straight down the hall, through the kitchen and jogged downstairs to his office. The mess they had made trying to get him out of it confronted him as soon as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He ignored it, stepping over the debris on the floor and striding on into his office. He would have to see to it that the door was replaced eventually. There was a deadline on finishing Blood Lust II and he really wanted to meet it. Life had been so chaotic lately that, between the trouble with Pudge and the advent of Rachel in his life, Etienne had fallen behind on finishing the project. He'd concentrate on that now. Work had always been his refuge, and it would be again now.
Etienne settled in at his desk and stared at the mess that used to be his computers. Pudge had truly ruined them when he'd shot up the room. Fortunately, Etienne had learned long ago that making backups of everything was a smart thing to do. He hadn't lost any of the work he'd done so far, but he couldn't continue on these computers.
His gaze slid to the phone, but he already knew it too had been destroyed. Turning away from the mess, he strode back out of his office and out of his house to get into his car. He'd have to buy new computers--four of them to replace those he'd lost--and then he'd work like a demon to meet his deadline. Once that was done he would consider what to do about Rachel. If there was anything to do.
"What are you going to do about Rachel?"
Etienne scowled at that question from his mother. It was one he had asked himself repeatedly over the week and a half since Rachel had walked out of the police station and out of his life. It was a question he didn't have an answer to. It seemed obvious she didn't want him. She'd walked away without a backward glance and hadn't tried to contact him since then.
"Have you tried to contact her?" Marguerite asked, obviously reading his thoughts.
Etienne didn't bother getting upset at her intrusion into his mind. What was the use? Besides, he didn't seem to have a lot of energy lately. Certainly not enough to bother with a battle he had been losing all his life. His mother had read his mind despite his protests and would no doubt continue to until one or the other of them died.
"Of course you don't have energy; you haven't been feeding right. You're dehydrated right this minute," Marguerite snapped. "And look at you: You haven't bathed or changed your clothes since leaving the police station. You should be grateful that Rachel hasn't tried to contact you. She'd take one look at your sorry state and turn around and walk away, glad to make her escape."
"I've been busy," Etienne snarled. He wasn't the sort to snarl as a rule; that was more Lucern and Bastien's bag. They were the grumpy ones in the family. But he had been feeling rather snarly of late.
"Hmm." Marguerite stared at him, and at first he felt sure she was going to let the subject drop. Then he became aware of her sifting through his mind. He tried to close his thoughts to her, but he had never been able to do that. Besides, she had already found what she was looking for. "You never told her that you loved her."