Hungry For You(66)

Marguerite patted her hand gently. "Sam chose to turn, Alexandra. It was not forced on her. She loves Mortimer. They are true life mates and she wishes to share her life with him."

Alex stared at her blankly, her mind only comprehending that Sam was now a vampire too, or would be once the turn was finished.

"She will still be Sam," Marguerite assured her. "She will simply not grow ill, and not age. She will also probably fill out a bit."

Alex blinked. "Fill out?"

"Well, she is unhealthily thin," Marguerite pointed out. "I suspect some sort of thyroid malfunction."

"Mother was always dragging her to doctors about that, but they couldn't find anything wrong," Alex said faintly.

"There is much doctors do not yet know, but the nanos are programmed to get their hosts to peak condition and keep them there," she reminded her. "I do not think Sam has ever been at her peak. She will be soon."

Alex simply sat there, too stunned by the news that her sister would soon be a vampire to say or even really think anything for a moment, but then she asked, "When did she decide to turn?"

"What you really want to know is how long she knew about us and did not tell you," Marguerite said quietly.

Alex didn't comment but knew that was really what she wanted to know. She was feeling a bit betrayed at the moment. Sam should have told her.

"She could not if she wished to stay with Mortimer, and Sam would not have been allowed to retain the memory had she chosen not to stay with him," Marguerite said firmly, and then added, "And she has known since the cottage last summer but has only recently agreed to the turn."

When she fell silent, Alex glanced to her curiously to see a brief struggle taking place on the woman's face, and then Marguerite grimaced, and merely said, "However, you should not allow the fact that Sam is one now to influence your decision."

"What decision?" she asked with a start.

"As to whether you are willing to accept Cale as your life mate and turn as well."

She blanched at the suggestion. "Become a vampire?"

"No, an immortal," Marguerite said with exasperation. "And please do not spout that nonsense about their being the same thing. I know you no longer think that way now that I've explained matters."

Alex stilled.

"You are not afraid of me anymore, Alex. Nor are you afraid of Cale now that you understand the basis of what we are."

"Yes I am," Alex said quickly, but could hear the lack of conviction in her voice.

"No, dear, you aren't," Marguerite said firmly. "I can read your mind, and I know you aren't afraid of us anymore ... at least not physically afraid. The fear only returned at the suggestion of being Cale's life mate."

"So which is it? Am I afraid, or not?" Alex asked dryly, and really wanted to know what the woman thought. She was pretty confused at the moment herself and unsure what she was feeling. Marguerite was right, she had begun to relax and stop fearing them all as she understood things. But the moment Marguerite had mentioned being Cale's life mate, abject terror had rushed through her.

"I believe you are afraid, but only of Cale, and not that he would hurt you physically, but that he could emotionally." Marguerite said gently, "You've come to love him, dear. I can read and feel it in your memories and thoughts. You recognized from the first that he was special, that you could come to care for him. You used needing to keep a professional footing between you as an excuse to protect yourself but couldn't make yourself stay away as you felt you should and found excuses to see him every day. But you find it impossible to believe that he could love you," Marguerite said sadly. "For all that you are an attractive, intelligent, and successful woman ... for some reason you don't think you are worthy of love."

Alex swallowed a sudden lump in her throat and blinked her eyes rapidly as she felt them fill with tears. Marguerite's words had certainly struck a chord.

"I think perhaps you need to stop and ask yourself why," she said solemnly. "Who made you think you were not worthy of love? Who said that to you? "

Alex didn't have to think hard, her mind immediately raced back to culinary school and her first experience with adult love. A train wreck to be sure, she thought on a sigh. But surely that couldn't be affecting her still?

"I believe it compounded something that was already growing within you, an irrational fear I think, but that doesn't make it any less scary. You'll have to search farther back for it, and I'll leave you to do it. You have a lot of thinking to do. You need to know what made you the way you are today before you can move past it and accept all that Cale has to offer you. He does loveyou, Alexandra. I promise you that. And he can't read or control you. The two of you could share a wonderful life together if you can only accept that love. But you shall have to sort out and confront your past to do it."

Alex watched silently as the other woman stood and moved across the room, but stood abruptly herself when Marguerite opened the door to reveal Bricker carrying a limp Cale past. She hurried to the door but was brought up short at the sight of him. His injuries looked even worse in light than they had out on that dark road ... and she'd just left him there, she thought with shame. This was a man who had been nothing but considerate and loving to her, and she'd left him to fend for himself in the middle of nowhere in that condition.

"You thought him a monster," Marguerite said quietly. "It was unfortunate, but understandable under the circumstances. He will not hold it against you."

Alex started to move to follow Cale, but her feet stopped almost at once and turned her back into the room, carrying her to the chair she'd just left. Marguerite had taken control again.

"I will help Bricker with Cale. The best thing you can do for him right now is sort yourself out so that you can love him as he deserves," Marguerite said from the door, as Alex found herself sitting down. "I should warn you that you have to be certain of your decision when you make it. It is irreversible. Should you choose not to be Cale's life mate, all memories of him will be removed from your mind, and you will never see him again lest the sight of him makes those memories return."