The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove - By Christopher Moore Page 0,69

thinking that..."

"They were depressed," Val said.

"Pardon me?" Gabe said.

"Of course they're depressed, they're rats," Theo said.

Gabe glared at him.

"Well, imagine waking up to that every morning," Theo continued. "'Oh, it's a great day, crap, I'm still a rat. Never mind.'"

"Well, I don't know about rats," Val said, "but serotonin levels in humans affect a lot of different things, predominantly mood. Low levels of serotonin can indicate depression. That's how Prozac works. It basically keeps sero-tonin in the brain to keep the patient from getting depressed. So maybe Gabe's rats were too depressed to run."

Gabe stroked his beard. "I never thought of that. But it doesn't help that much. It doesn't tell me why the majority of the rats did run."

"Well, duh, Gabe," Theo said. "It's the fucking monster."

"What?" Val said.

"What?" said Jenny, who was lingering nearby.

"Can we get some dessert menus?" Gabe asked, sending Jenny backing across the restaurant.

"Monster?" Val said.

"Maybe you'd better explain, Gabe," Theo said. "I think your scientific skepticism will make it sound more credible."

Val's jaw dropped visibly as she listened to Gabe talk about the tracks at the ranch, the mutilated cattle, and Theo's theory for the disappearances of Joseph Leander, Mikey Plotznik, and perhaps Les from the hardware store. When Gabe brought up Molly Michon, Val stopped him.

"You can't believe what she tells you. Molly is a very disturbed woman."

"She didn't tell me anything," Theo said. "I just think she knows something about all this."

Val wanted to call up Theo's drug history to sweep the story aside, then she remembered what Estelle Boyet had told her in therapy. "I'm not going to say who, but one of my patients mentioned a sea monster in session."

Gabe asked. "Who?"

"I can't say," Val said.

"Estelle Boyet," Jenny said as she came up to get the dessert order.

"Damn," Val said. "I wasn't the one who told you," she said to Theo.

"Well, she was talking about it over breakfast with that Catfish guy," Jenny added.

"No dessert," Val snapped at Jenny.

"I'll bring the check."

"So Estelle has seen it?" Theo asked.

"No, she says she's heard it. She's not the type to propagate a hoax, but I wouldn't put it past Molly Michon. Perhaps that's where the rumor started. I can ask Estelle."

"Do that," Theo said. "But it's not a hoax. My car is smashed. That's evidence. I'm going to Molly's tonight and wait for her. The door was unlocked when I checked earlier and I can't go home."

"You think it's that dangerous?" Val asked.

"I know it is." Theo stood and started to pull some bills from his pocket. Gabe waved him off. Theo said, "Doctor, can you give Gabe a ride?"

"Sure, but..."

"Thanks," Theo said. "I'll call you, Gabe. Thanks for letting me join you, Doctor. I thought you'd want to know about Bess. I'm afraid I've ruined your date."

I'll say, Val thought as she watched Theo leave the restaurant. A sense of alert exhaustion washed over her like an espresso fog bank.

"He just quit smoking pot," Gabe said. "He's feeling the stress."

"He has a right to. You don't believe any of that stuff about a monster, do you?"

"I have some theories."

"Would you like to come up to the house and explain them over a bottle of wine?"

"Really? I mean, sure, that would be nice."

"Good," Val said. "I think I need to get hammered and I'd like your company." Had she used the term "hammered" since college? She didn't think so.

"I'll get the check," Gabe said.

"Of course you will."

"I hope you don't mind having a dog in your car," Gabe said.

I'm not slumming, she thought. I've moved to the slums.
Chapter 22~23
Twenty-two

Theo

The walls of Molly's trailer were plastered with movie posters. He stood in the middle of the living room among the scattered videotapes, magazines, and junk mail and slowly turned. It was her, Molly. She hadn't been lying all this time. Most of the posters were in foreign languages, but every one featured a younger Molly in various states of undress, holding weapons or fighting off bad guys, her hair flying in the wind, a nuked-out city or a desert littered with human skulls and burned-out cars in the background.

The adolescent male part of Theo, the part that every man tries to bury but carries to his grave, reared up. She was a movie star. A hot movie star! And he knew her, had in fact put handcuffs on her. If there was only a locker room, a street corner, or a second-period study hall where he could brag about it to his friends.