The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove - By Christopher Moore Page 0,50

monster? Is that a metaphor for something? Some Blues term that I'm not getting?"

"No, I think it's a reptile, at least the way he describes it. I didn't get a good look at it. It ate his best friend when he was a young man. I think he's running away from the guilt. What do you think?"

"Estelle, there's no such thing as sea monsters."

"Catfish said that no one would believe me."

"Catfish?"

"That's his name. My Bluesman. He's very sweet. He has a sense of gallantry that you don't see much anymore. I don't think it's an act. He's too old for that. I didn't think I would ever feel this way again. These are girl feelings, not woman feelings. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want to have his grandchildren."

"Grandchildren?"

"Sure, he's had his days with the booze and the hos, but I think he's ready to settle down."

"The booze and the hos?"

Dr. Val seemed to have gone into some sort of fugue state, working on a stunned psychiatrist autopilot where all she could do was parrot what Estelle said back in the form of a question. Estelle needed more input than this.

"Do you think I should tell the authorities?"

"About the booze and the hos?"

"The sea monster. That Plotznik boy is missing, you know?"

Dr. Val made a show of straightening her blouse and assuming a controlled, staid, professional posture. "Estelle, I think we may need to adjust your medication."

"I haven't been taking it. But I feel fine. Catfish says that if Prozac had been invented a hundred years ago there wouldn't have been any Blues at all. Just a lot of happy people with no soul. I tend to agree with him. The antidepressants served their purpose for me after Joe died, but I'm not sure I need them now. I even feel like I could get some painting done - if I can find some time away from sex."

Dr. Val winced. "I was thinking of something besides antidepressants, Estelle. You obviously are dealing with some serious changes right now. I'm not sure how to proceed. Do you think that Mr., uh, Catfish would mind coming to a session with you?"

"That might be tough. He doesn't like your mojo."

"My mojo?"

"Not your mojo in particular. Just psychiatrist's mojo in general. He spent a little time in a mental hospital in Mississippi after the monster ate his friend. He didn't care for the staff's mojo." Estelle realized that her vocabulary, even her way of thinking, had changed over the last few days, the result of immersion in Catfish's Blues world.

The doctor was rubbing her temples again. "Estelle, let's make another appointment for tomorrow or the next day. Tell Chloe to add it on at the end of the day if I'm booked up. And try to bring your gentleman along with you. In the meantime, assure him that my practice is mojo-free, would you?"

Estelle stood. "Can that little girl write with those oven mitts on?"

"She'll manage."

"So what should I do? I don't want him to go. But I feel like I've lost a part of myself by falling in love. I'm happy, but I don't know who I am anymore. I'm worried." Estelle realized that she was starting to whine and looked at her shoes, ashamed.

"That's our time, Estelle. Let's save this for our next appointment."

"Right. Should I tell the constable about the sea monster?"

"Let's hold off on that for now. These things have a way of taking care of themselves."

"Thanks, Dr. Val. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good-bye, Estelle."

Estelle left the office and stopped at Chloe's desk outside. The girl was gone, but there were animal noises coming from the bathroom just down the hall. Perhaps she had caught one of the oven mitts on her nose ring. Poor thing. Estelle went to the bathroom door and knocked lightly.

"Are you okay in there, dear? Do you need some help?"

The answer came back in high moan. "I'm fine. Really fine. Thanks. Oh my God!"

"You're sure?"

"No, that's all right!"

"I'm supposed to make an appointment for tomorrow or the next day. The doctor said to pencil it in late if you have to." Estelle could hear thumping noises coming from the bathroom, and it sounded as if the medicine cabinet had dumped.

"Oh wow! Wow! Oh wow!"

The scheduling must really have been tight. "I'm sorry. I won't bother you anymore. Call me to confirm, would you, dear?"

Estelle left Valerie Riordan's house even more unsettled than she had come in, thinking that it had