And not in the way she’s used to. There will be no unwilling possession, because I’m equally hers for as long as she’ll have me.
“Let’s get you washed up.” I push to my feet and grab her hand, helping her from the vanity to lead her to the shower.
She’s quiet beside me as I turn on the water, and I hope that means she’s peacefully content. I could watch her like this forever—her face flushed, eyes bright as she stares blindly ahead.
I smirk. “Need help taking off your shirt?”
The corners of her mouth rise with the hint of a smile. “No, I can do it on my own.”
She reaches for the hem, and I do the same, my fingers brushing hers. We drag the material above her stomach, over her shoulders.
I’m hard again by the time I drop the shirt to the tile. Any man would be.
She’s breathtaking. Mouthwatering.
I can’t stop dragging my gaze over her, the lush curves of her hips, the smooth stomach, the perfect breasts. But the pièce de résistance is my seed sliding down her thigh.
“Like what you see?” she drawls.
“Without a doubt.”
She lets out a breathy chuckle, the sound heaven to my ears.
I want this more often. The laughter and smiles. The subtle happiness that increases her beauty tenfold.
I lead her into the shower and close the door behind us. She moves under the water first and tugs me along with her, her arms raised between our chests, her head resting on my shoulder.
We stand in silence.
In contentment.
I kiss her forehead. Her cheek.
I can’t stop pressing my lips to her delicate skin, tasting the salt, drowning in the warmth while she remains snuggled into me.
“You’re quiet.” I place my mouth on her temple and force my libido to tap the brakes.
“I’m happy.”
I return my lips to her forehead, holding them there for long moments. “You sure?”
Despite being on cloud nine, I know this can’t be easy for her.
“I think so. It’s hard to explain.”
I hold her tighter. “Try.”
She’s quiet for a while as she peppers slow kisses against my neck. “My stomach is giddy. It’s all fluttery and warm.” Her arms snake down to her sides, then wrap around my waist. “Good sensations have been foreign to me for so long that there’s a sense of guilt that comes with them. Or maybe it’s not guilt. Maybe it’s the fear of this all being taken away.”
“It won’t get taken.”
She sucks in a long breath and releases it slowly. “You can’t know for certain. Nobody can predict what will happen tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that. So there’s this giddy, tingling part of me that I love, then there’s this nagging, opposing side that chooses to be a constant reminder of how quickly life can change for the worse.”
I get it.
I know she doesn’t think I do, but I lived my entire early childhood in that zone. Every time I caught my parents laughing or smiling, the childish optimism in me would think they’d finally figured out how to be happy without causing pain.
It never stuck though.
And I can’t oppose her way of thinking when I still have bad news to tell her. I’m worried I’ll lose her trust and break her heart with the information of another attack. Then if she finds out I involved Tobias… fuck.
Maybe she’s right. Maybe this will all be taken away, but she’ll be the one doing the taking.
I tighten my hold on her, my migraine returning with the fear. “I’ll always protect you. I promise I’ll never stop.”
“I know.” She pulls back to look up at me with heart melting eyes. “But who will protect you?”
25
Penny
I wake to the sound of the neighbor’s dog barking incessantly, the slight glow seeping around the curtains announcing early morning.
The house is quiet. No voices. No kiddie giggles.
There are only me and the memories of last night to make me smile. I roll onto my side and stare at the man sleeping peacefully next to me. I’d fallen into slumber with his arms wrapped around my middle, his chest warm against my back.
I can’t remember succumbing to pleasant dreams so easily.
There’d been no fear. No panic.
Only a building sense of hope with the protective embrace.
My love for him is scary. I think it’s always been there, in the security and trust, but now it’s also in the flutter of my stomach and the tightness of my throat whenever I look at him.