“I didn’t mean to sound accusatory.” Penny backtracks, moving out of reach. “I just…”
There’s a pause of awkward-as-fuck silence while Benji holds my gaze, his eyes remaining narrowed for long seconds before he huffs out a breath.
“Forget it. Times are tough,” he mutters. “We’re all dealing with shit we don’t need. And by the look of the swelling on Luca’s face, he’s handling more than most.” His shoulders loosen slightly while he clings to the suitcase. “Did you get in a fight?”
“Decker took a cheap shot.”
He huffs a laugh. “What about my girls? How are they? It feels like forever since I’ve seen them.”
“Both are good. They went to bed a while ago.” I hike a thumb to the far hall. “They’re down that way somewhere. I don’t know which room.”
“Speaking of bed…” Penny gives a fake smile. “I’ll leave you two to talk in private.”
“You don’t need to go.” I grab her wrist before she can walk away and she gasps on impact. “Are you okay?”
She chuckles. Again, it’s fake. “I’m fine. You surprised me, that’s all.”
“You sure?” I lean in to whisper in her ear, “You’re not thinking of running, are you?”
“No. I learned my lesson last time.”
I keep watching her, looking for a tell as I release her wrist. “I’ll follow you soon.”
She inclines her head and places a kiss on my cheek. “Good night.”
“Night.” I keep quiet as she pads to the hall, all the while wishing I was alongside her. I want to know what she’s thinking. What she’s feeling. Specifically about my brother.
“So, tell me why you didn’t return my calls, Benj.” It’s time to drop the shit. Like he said, we’re both too tired for this. “You’ve been ghosting me for weeks.”
“I’ve been ghosting everyone for weeks. If you’re not aware, I’ve been stuck looking after crazy-ass women, twenty-four-seven. You’ve got no idea how fucked up they are. Lucid one minute. Psychotic the next. It was PMS on acid. I’m surprised only one of them took the easy way out.”
“Don’t joke about that,” I grate. “Don’t ever joke about Abi in front of me again.”
He laughs off my aggression. “Chill, Luc. I’m just saying they’re messed up. That’s all.”
“You also told me they were doing good.”
“Jesus Christ, that was a relative term. What’s gotten into you? And not that I should have to mention it, but you judging me for the way I handle those women is fucking rich when you’ve got your hands all over one of the damaged.”
One of the damaged?
I step back, because if I don’t, I’ll launch right through him, my headache be damned. “Did you really just say that?” I clench my fists, tighter and tighter, trying to squeeze away the need to strike.
“Are you kidding?” He focuses on my hands and scoffs. “You’re going to hit me?”
I want to. What I wouldn’t give to lay him flat for running his mouth. “Tell me why you were dodging my calls,” I snarl. “Tell me what the fuck is going on with you.”
He steps closer, getting in my face. “I already did. I had a lot of shit going on. Excuse me for not wanting my judgmental brother breathing down my neck after that woman decided to slash her wrists on my watch.”
“Bullshit.” He’s lying. I don’t know why. But that feeling Penny was talking about has taken over my gut. It’s in my fucking head, poking, poking, poking me to dig deeper.
“Don’t look at me that way,” he seethes. “I bet you haven’t spared a thought as to what I’m going through. Have you wondered what it’s like knowing your innocent daughter has spent hours alone with a rapist? A fucking pedophile? Do you have any idea what it’s like to try to console a wife whose father is a monster? To have to contemplate telling your daughter why all the photos of her grandfather are being removed from the house? Have you got any idea, Luc?”
No, I don’t.
But cluelessness doesn’t stop my anger toward his newfound attitude.
“You’re only proving my point.” I release my fists and spread my fingers, forcing myself out of the aggressive stance. “You always lay your problems on the line with me. Why have I been kept in the dark?”
“Maybe I quit wanting you to fight my battles. It’s about time I grew up.”
“You grew up earlier than any kid I know. You had to. We both did.”
“Don’t start that shit. Not everything is about our childhood.”