The instant her weight came on top of him, he went stiff and stopped kissing her back.
"Zsadist?"
He threw her off of him with so much force, she bounced on the mattress.
Zsadist bolted from the bed, panting and whacked-out, his body trapped between the past and the present, stretched thin between the two.
Part of him wanted more of what Bella was doing to him. Hell, he was dying to keep exploring his first taste of arousal. The sensations were incredible. A revelation. The only thing good he'd felt in... forever.
Dear Virgin in the Fade, no wonder males killed to protect their mates.
Except he couldn't bear having a female on top of him, even if it was Bella, and the wild panic pounding through him right now was dangerous. What if he lashed out at her? For God's sake, he'd already thrown her across the damn bed.
He glanced at her. She looked so achingly beautiful in the tangled sheets and scattered pillows. But he was terrified of her, and because of that, terrified for her. The touching and the kissing, however much he'd been into them in the beginning, were too much of a trigger for him. And he couldn't put himself in a position where he got this upset when he was around her.
"We're not going there again," he said. "That shit's not happening."
"You liked it." Her voice was soft but strong. "I could feel your blood race under my hands."
"No arguments."
"Your body's hard for me."
"Do you want to get hurt?" As she tightened her hold on a pillow, he pressed harder. "Because, straight up, sex and I only go one way, and it's nothing you want to be a part of."
"I liked the way you kissed me. I want to lay with you. Make love with you."
"Make love? Make love?" He spread his arms out. "Bella... all I've got to offer you is fucking. You won't like it, and frankly I won't like doing it to you. You're so much better than that."
"I felt your lips on mine. They were gentle - "
"Oh, please - "
"Shut up and let me finish!"
Z's mouth dropped open, sure as if she'd booted him in the ass. No one ever took that tone of voice with him. The anomaly alone would have gotten his attention, but the fact that it was her stunned him out.
Bella pushed her hair over her shoulder. "If you don't want to be with me, fine. Just say so. But don't hide behind wanting to protect me. You think I don't know the sex would be rough with you?"
"Is that why you want it?" he asked in a dead voice. "You think you only deserve to be hurt now, after the lesser?"
She frowned. "Not at all. But if that's the only way I can have you, then that's how I'll take you."
He ran his hand back and forth over his skull trim, hoping the friction might get his brain to work.
"I think you're confused." He looked down at the floor. "You have no idea what you're saying right now."
"You arrogant bastard," she snapped.
Z's head shot up. Well, that was slap in the ass number two... "Excuse me?"
"Do us both a favor and don't try to think for me, okay? Because you're going to get it wrong every damn time." With that, she marched into the bathroom and slammed the door.
Zsadist blinked a couple of times. What the hell just happened?
He looked around the room as if the furniture or maybe the drapes could help him out. Then his acute hearing tuned in to a quiet sound. She was... crying.
With a curse he went over to the bathroom. He didn't knock, just turned the knob and went inside. She was standing next to the shower, arms crossed, tears pooling in her sapphire eyes.
Oh... God. What was a male supposed to do in this situation?
"I'm sorry," he muttered. "If I... uh, hurt your feelings or something."
She glared at him. "I'm not hurt. I'm pissed off and sexually frustrated."
His head snapped back on his spine. Well... then. Okaaaaay.
Man, he was going to need a neck brace after this conversation.
"I'll say it again, Zsadist. If you're not into laying with me, that's okay, but do not try to tell me I don't know what I want."
Z planted his palms on his hip bones and looked down at the marble tile. Don't say a thing, asshole. Just keep your mouth -