"But you know, maybe I could work on that. Or something. Fuck, I don't know. Probably not."
"Oh... Jesus. I'll help you. Any way I can."
Z shook his head. "No. I don't want help. I need to do this myself."
They were quiet for a time. "My arm's falling asleep," Z said. Phury lifted his head and Zsadist took the limb back, but he didn't move away.
Right before Bella left, she went to the room Zsadist had been given. She'd been delaying her departure for days, telling herself it wasn't because she was waiting for him to come around. Which was a lie.
The door was slightly ajar, so she knocked on the jamb. She wondered what he would say when she just walked right in. Probably nothing.
"Come in," a female said.
Bella stepped into the room. The bed was empty, and a splintered tree of monitoring equipment was lying on Page 274
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its side as if it were dead. A nurse was picking pieces of it off the floor and putting them into a trash can.
Clearly Zsadist was up and around.
The nurse smiled. "Are you looking for him? He's next door with his brother."
"Thank you."
Bella went one room farther down and knocked quietly. When there was no response, she went inside.
The two of them were lying back-to-back, so tightly against each other it was as if their spines were fused.
Their arms and legs were curled up in identical positions, their chins tucked into their chests. She imagined them in their mother's womb like that, resting together, innocent of all the horrors that waited for them on the outside.
Odd to think her blood was in both of them. It was her only legacy to the pair, the only thing she was leaving behind.
Without warning Zsadist's eyes flipped open. The yellow-gold glow was such a surprise, she jumped.
"Bella..." He reached for her. "Bella-"
She took a step back. "I came to say good-bye."
As he dropped his hand, she had to look away.
"Where are you going?" he asked. "Somewhere safe?"
"Yes." She was heading down the coast, to Charleston in South Carolina, to extended family who were more than happy to take her in. "It's going to be a new start for me. A new life."
"Good. This is good."
She closed her eyes. Just once... just once she would have liked to hear some regret in his voice while she was leaving. Then again, as this was their last good-bye, at least she wouldn't have to be disappointed anymore.
"You were so brave," he said. "I owe you my life. His, too. You are so... brave."
The hell she was. She was about to break down completely. "I hope you and Phury heal up fast. Yeah, I hope..."
There was a long silence. Then she took one last look at Zsadist's face. She knew then that even if she mated somewhere down the line, no male would ever take his place.
And as unromantic as it sounded, that just plain sucked. Sure, she was supposed to triumph over loss and all that. But she loved him and she wasn't going to end up with him, and all she wanted to do was get in a bed somewhere, turn the lights off, and just lie there. For, like, a century.
"I need you to know something," she said. "You told me that someday I would wake up and regret being with you. Well, I do. But not because of what the glymera would say." She crossed her arms over her chest. "After having been burned by high society once, I'm no longer afraid of the aristocracy, and I would have been proud... to stand at your side. But yes, I am sorry I was with you."
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Because leaving him was a shattering blow. Worse than everything she'd gone through with the lesser.
All things considered, it would have been better not to know what she was missing.
Without another word she turned and left the room.
As dawn creeped over the landscape, Butch walked into the Pit, took off his coat, and sat down on the leather sofa. SportsCenter was on mute. Kanye West's Late Registration was on surround sound.
V appeared in the kitchen's doorway, clearly just in from a night of fighting: He was shirtless and sporting a shiner, still in his leathers and shitkickers.
"How you doing?" Butch asked, eyeing another black-and-blue that was popping up on his roommate's shoulder.
"No better than you. You look beat, cop."
"For real." He let his head fall back. Watching over Z