it’s worth, I’ve seen the way Cooper looks at you—and I don’t just mean since you two finally pulled your heads out of your butts over a month ago. For as long as you two have been coming here, I’ve seen it. He looks at you like you’re his everything. That boy is madly in love with you.”
Love?
I can’t help but feel if that were the case, he wouldn’t have done what he did today.
“Did that thought not cross your mind?” Darlene asks, drawing my attention back to her.
Well…no.
I mean, I hoped, but what girl doesn’t?
Her lips turn up at the corners when I don’t answer. “You love him, don’t you?”
“So much,” I whisper.
“You tell him that?”
“No. It’s…complicated.”
She grunts. “It always is.”
“Have you ever fallen in love with your best friend only to have them lie to you and break your trust?”
“Well…no, I haven’t. I guess that does complicate things a bit, huh?”
I pinch my fingers together. “Just a bit.”
“Sorry, kiddo.” She winces. “Tell you what, coffee is on me tonight. You sound like you really do need it.”
“Thank you.”
She tosses me another wink, then pours me a fresh cup of joe. She slides the coffee my way and gives me a somber smile before moving away.
Coffee in hand, I take the long way home.
When I finally make it up to our apartment, Cooper’s light is off.
And for the first time in over a month, I sleep alone.
17
Cooper
For the first time in my life, I was really starting to love Mondays.
Lazy mornings in bed with Caroline. The laughter. The fun. The sex.
But Caroline didn’t come to my bed last night, which makes it two nights in a row she’s slept in her own room.
I’ve reached for her only to find nothing but miles between us so many times I’ve lost count.
The only real communication we’ve had is a note that read, Give me time. It was sitting next to the full coffee pot the morning after the festival.
It feels like it did in the days after I kissed her. She’s not actively avoiding me this time and running from the room every time I walk into it, but we’re not talking either.
We’re sharing the same space, but we’re not.
It’s too quiet and feels like, at any moment, something—or someone—is going to explode. It’s so fucking hard to breathe because I feel like all my reasons to do so are missing.
I had to get out of there. Had to get a break from the silence.
Which is how I ended up in front of The Gravy Train, trying to convince myself to go inside and not storm back to our apartment and demand she talk to me.
“Hey, man.” I turn to find Dean striding up to me. It’s early, and based on his attire of dress shirt and slacks, he’s headed to work. “You going in or coming out?”
“In.”
“Coffee? I’m headed in for some breakfast.”
I’m not sure I’m up for company, but I don’t really want to be alone right now either.
“Sure,” I say, pulling the door open.
“Don’t tell River,” he starts as he walks in ahead of me, “but I come here sometimes during the week without her so I don’t have to share my pie.”
I chuckle. Probably smart. River is profoundly serious about her pie.
“Oh hell,” Darlene grumbles as we approach the counter. “Who let you two in here?”
Dean smirks at her. “Hey, sugar.”
She rolls her eyes. “Please, boy. You’re young enough to be my kid. Don’t try that flirting stuff with me.”
Dean laughs. “Two coffees, please. And I’ll take whatever cherry pie you have left.”
“For you or River?”
“Is that going to decide whether you have any pie or not?”
“Maybe.”
“River, then,” he tells her. “We’re still celebrating this weekend’s accomplishments. They’re already seeing the results of all the foot traffic over the weekend.”
I left before the festival ended. It was obvious Caroline didn’t want me there. Every time I tried to talk to her, she shut me out.
So, I left.
I still have no idea how it ended up working out for her. I’ve wanted to ask so many times, but it never feels right.
God, I don’t even want to think about how she walked around the festival looking like an automaton on what was supposed to be a joyful day for her, displaying her work for the first time.
It turned into anything but, and it’s all my fault.
I crossed boundaries I shouldn’t have. Pushed her when I promised I wouldn’t. Went behind her back intentionally.