better.” She crosses her arms over her chest, grinning victoriously. “But that’s not what I meant.”
“I know.” I sigh, scrubbing a hand through my hair. “Is that what you want? A relationship?”
She takes a moment to answer, brows pinched together in concentration.
It feels like forever passes before she nods.
“Yeah, I think that’s what I want. I’m not good at casual sex.”
“You’ve never tried casual sex.” She huffs, and I laugh. “But I know what you mean,” I say. “You’re definitely the relationship type, and I get that. It’s just how you’re wired.”
“What about you?” she asks. “Have you thought about it? Us in a relationship?”
I nod. “I have.”
She tugs her lip between her teeth, chewing on it. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, and I don’t think it’s a crazy idea. Actually, I think it makes sense. A lot of sense.”
“In what ways?”
“All of them.”
I turn toward her, reaching out and plucking her lip free. I run my thumb over the swollen flesh. She peers up at me, those big blue eyes swimming with worry, curiosity, and caution.
“When we didn’t talk after Friday night, it fucking sucked. I hated it. Hated not having you here, not seeing you laugh. Hell, I’d have rather had you slap me and call me an ass for kissing you than ignoring me. It was agony, especially because I thought for sure I’d fucked things up on a whole new level. I was terrified I’d lost you for good.”
She opens her mouth to speak, and I shake my head, stopping her.
“But it made me think, made me realize small things that have always bothered me and I couldn’t place my finger on why. Like all those times in the past when we fought. When we ignored each other over ridiculous things like when you definitely stole my signed Kobe Bryant jersey, spilled Kool-Aid all over it, and then returned it stained, swearing up and down it wasn’t you.” She tucks her lips together, holding back her laugh. “We didn’t talk for a week after that. I was so mad at you then. But I realize now it wasn’t just me being upset with you over the jersey. I was mad because you weren’t there…because I missed you. I just didn’t know how to articulate that then.”
I cup her face and pull her closer.
I press a kiss to her forehead, then lean back, peering into her eyes.
“If you want to know if I see a relationship with you now, yes. Because my life isn’t the same without you in it, Caroline.”
She wraps her hand around my wrist, leaning into my touch and squeezing her eyes shut tight. “This scares me so much.”
“Me too.”
“What if we suck together?”
“Well, you do suck.”
“Coop…” she groans.
I laugh. “I’m sure we’ll suck. All couples suck every now and then. But wouldn’t it suck more if we didn’t even try?”
“Are you serious about this? Because you don’t do relationships. I’m the one who dates. You’re the one who humps and dumps.”
“You’re right,” I say, dropping my hand from her face. “You should leave. I mean, I’ve humped, now it’s time to…”
She glares at me, and I laugh, pulling her back to me.
“I’m being serious, Cooper. Relationships are hard. I don’t want to do this with you if it’s not what you want.”
“It is what I want.”
“How do you know?” she counters. “You’ve never wanted a relationship before.”
She’s right. I haven’t ever really wanted a relationship in the past—but that’s because nobody ever seemed worthy of giving it a shot with.
“It’s you. You’re different.”
It’s not a line. It’s the truth. She’s different. She’s Caroline.
“And because it feels good. Natural.”
She exhales slowly, softly. “You know if we do this, things are going to change between us, right?”
“I would like to point out that I ate your pussy last night when I definitely wouldn’t have done that as friends, so things are already changing.”
She rolls her eyes. “You’re already making me regret this.”
“Does that mean you want to try?”
She swallows, then slowly nods. “Yes. But I also want to be cautious. I want to be us still. You know those married couples who always say they married their best friend? That’s what I want, to still be friends in between everything else. Partners.”
“Be like married couples, huh? You proposing to me, Caroline Elizabeth Reed?”
“You wish, Bennett.”
“Hmm, Caroline Elizabeth Bennett has a nice ring to it.”