“Care…” he starts, tilting his head, his brow going up in that Don’t bullshit me way of his.
I cross the apartment to the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out a can of flavored water. I pop the top and take a long drink before wiping the back of my hand across my mouth.
“Really, Coop.” I shrug, pushing myself up onto the counter, my favorite spot to sit. “Nothing happened.”
“Then why aren’t you going?” he asks, turning around to face me.
He takes another drink from his coffee, the muscles in his arms that are threatening to pop out of his plain gray t-shirt flexing with the movement.
We’ve spent many moments in this exact same position. Me sitting in my spot, legs bouncing off the cabinets. Him leaning against the counter opposite, one bare foot crossed over the other. Him sipping on his coffee, me drinking flavored water.
It’s comfortable. We’re comfortable.
Easy. Simple.
We make sense together.
How am I just now seeing this?
“Did he cancel on you? I knew something was off about that guy.”
“No. I’m the one canceling.”
“What? Why?” He sighs. “Come on. You can’t keep being too shy to get out there and date. You’ll never get laid if you don’t try.”
“I’ve been thinking about that. Maybe I jumped the gun on the whole thing.”
“Is there even a gun for you to jump? You haven’t been out with anyone in nearly a year.”
I lift a brow. “You keeping track of my sex life now?”
“What? No.” He scoffs. “I don’t care if you get laid or not.”
“Really? You’re pushing this a little hard, don’t you think?”
His hands tighten around his mug, and his jaw jumps with how hard his teeth are clenched together.
I wonder if he’s doing the same thing I am…trying to force one thing to forget about another.
“I’m not. Just trying to be a good friend is all.”
Another tic in his jaw.
“Right,” I say. “Friend.”
I take another pull from my drink, and he swallows down the rest of his.
He sets his coffee mug down on the counter harder than necessary.
“I’m going to take a shower.”
9
Cooper
Friend.
Fuck, I’m really starting to hate that word.
Being a good friend to your best friend is hard to do when everything inside you wants to haul her into your lap and kiss her until neither of you can breathe.
I stopped the other night because Caroline asked, not because I wanted to.
I wanted to kiss her again. To taste her.
To see if what happened last Friday was a fluke or not.
How can something that felt so fucking good be a fluke?
Despite what happened, things have been good between us. Normal. Back to the same routine as before.
At least that’s what it looks like to anyone else.
We’re putting more distance between us than there has been, both physically and emotionally. We’re smiling, but the expression never reaches our eyes. We’re talking, but we’re not really saying anything.
Things have changed. We’ve changed.
That once easy dynamic isn’t so easy, and it’s all fallen apart in a matter of days.
Part of me wants to take it all back: the incident in the hall, the kiss, and everything after. I want to go back to what we had before.
But I want to see what we could have even more, and I have no idea how to fucking tell her that when it’s clear she doesn’t want the same thing.
I close myself into the bathroom and crank the water all the way up, letting the steam fill the room as I strip off my basketball shorts and tee.
I step into the tub, pull the curtain closed, and sigh when the water hits my back.
I’ve been so knotted up over things with Caroline that I’m literally knotting up. Normally I’d ask her to use the foam roller on my back and work out the kinks, but I don’t think having her straddle me is the best idea right now.
Unless she’s straddling my lap…
My cock stirs to life, and I try to ignore the throbbing that seems to be a constant as of late.
Instead, I reach for the shampoo and pour a good amount on my hands, then scrub at my hair.
I wonder how good Caroline’s fingers would feel doing this, if they’d feel as good as they did when they were in my hair last time…
“Fuck!” I shout, smacking the wall in frustration.
“Cooper?”
I freeze when I realize she’s right outside the door.
I just wanted a few minutes alone not thinking about her.