The Love Scam - MaryJanice Davidson Page 0,88
in the lobby, saying one more good-bye to Sofia, Ellen, and Teresa and demanding that they come to Vegas pronto. That left Rake time to knock the last thing off his “To Do” list. “Listen, I’ve started a family and I’m in love and stuff, so. Just FYI. Her name’s Claire Delaney and she’s awesome.”
“Congratulations!”
Weird. Blake sounded genuinely happy for him. And not surprised at all.
“Nonna told you all about her, huh?”
“In breathless detail. I particularly like the part where she’s a master of the martial arts and can beat you mercilessly if the mood strikes. And beautiful, of course. Nonna said she has fog-colored eyes and a talent for aggravating you.”
“Yeah, she’s almost as good at it as you are. Which I didn’t think was possible. I definitely didn’t think it would make her hotter to me. And you haven’t even heard the best part; Delaney had an old friend who—”
“Come to my wedding,” his twin coaxed.
“Wedding! Why do I have the feeling you should have been the one doing all the talking during this call?”
“You’d never have let me get a word in edgewise. I had to interrupt you just to issue an invitation. Yes, I am getting married. I, too, have been pierced by the dart of love.”
Rake made vomiting noises into the phone, which, oddly, seemed to please his twin, who continued happily: “And so I want to see you. I want Natalie to meet you.”
“Of course, you flapping asshole. Wouldn’t miss it.”
“Excellent.”
“So … you’re okay? You’ve got your dough back, I’ve got mine, we’re in love, happily ever after, blah-blah-blah?”
A sigh. “Never change, little brother. Yes, blah-blah-blah. I was ill for a bit but have recovered. You were taken prisoner—Nonna was vague on details and you will share the entire story before much longer—”
“No prob, since I finally have the entire story.”
“—and have likewise gotten over that. I’m not sure if Nonna anticipated the consequences when she hatched this plan to knock us into poverty and force us to become better human beings.”
“Speaking of Operation Fuck with You, I have more news: I’m a dad!”
“I don’t think that’s the name of the Op— What?”
“You heard me. I’m a proud papa.”
“That’s … that’s wonderful! Congratulations?” Blake’s bewildered and slightly panicked tone was as soothing as a massage. “How did—when can I—that means I’m an uncle.”
“Yep! Or possibly a father.”
“What? Rake, what are you talking about?”
“I’ll explain later, but you’re definitely an uncle. And even if you’re a father, it’s only on a biological level.”
“What does that even—”
“Listen, I can’t miss this flight—”
“Rake Tarbell. You will elaborate this minute!”
“Bye!”
“Rake? Rake? Don’t disconnect, you miscreant!”
“Gotta go!”
“Raaaaaaaaaaaaake!”
Index
The index that appeared in the print version of this title does not match the pages in your e-book. Please use the search function on your e-reading device to search for terms of interest. For your reference, the terms that appear in the print index are listed below.
Bad boy in leather
Big Mis
Damsel in distress
Except not. Delaney had no trouble saving herself. And then Rake
Exotic locale
Lake Como, Venice
“Falling in love wasn’t part of the plan!”
Delaney had no intention of even liking Rake, much less falling for him
Fear other character thinks is adorable
Rake is terrified of Peeps
Fighting
Rake and Blake always defend the underdog
First kiss constantly interrupted
Oh yeah. Multiple times
Hero is a clueless idiot
Hero is handsome
Well, yeah, even though we first see him at his worst, he’s still gorgeous
Heroine is beautiful
inverted (kind of), her looks are an eclectic mix of awkward and beautiful
Heroine up to no good
Delaney definitely knows more than she’s telling, pretty much from the moment Rake meets her
Hungover
I can’t fight it anymore!
Identical twins who are not alike
Identical twins who have nothing in common
Intelligence
Blake pretends Rake doesn’t have it
Blake has studied rocket science
Rake has it in spades
Love at first sight
kind of
Love their mom, loathe each other
Meet cute
inverted
inverted (hero doesn’t remember first meeting, throws up on heroine during second meeting)
Metareference
Mysterious past
Delaney had a severely awful childhood she never talks about
Never tell them you love them
Rake and Delaney
Noodle Incident
Overused pop culture reference
Pathologically interfering relative who means well
Responsible big brother, irresponsible little brother
Rich, handsome, lonely x 2
Secretly sweet
Blake really does love Rake
Sexy voice, unsexy accent
Slutty McSlut
both Tarbell brothers
Teaming up to help the family (if not putting differences aside)
This day can’t get any worse (it gets worse)
Tourists
Americans are the worst
Waking up in strange city
Also by MaryJanice Davidson
Danger, Sweetheart
Me, Myself and Why?
Yours, Mine, and Ours
You and I, Me and You
Faeries Gone Wild
No Rest for the Witches
About the Author
MaryJanice Davidson is the internationally bestselling author of several books, including the Betsy the Vampire Queen series. Her books have been translated into several languages and are available in fifteen countries. She writes a biweekly column for USA Today and frequently speaks to book clubs and writers’ groups, teaches writing workshops, and attends conferences all over the world. She has published books, novellas, articles, short stories, recipes, and movie reviews. You sign up for email updates here.
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Epigraphs
Author’s Note
Prologue
Another Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter Forty-Five
Chapter Forty-Six
Chapter Forty-Seven
Chapter Forty-Eight
Chapter Forty-Nine
Chapter Fifty
Chapter Fifty-One
Chapter Fifty-Two
Chapter Fifty-Three
Epilogue
Index
Also by MaryJanice Davidson
About the Author
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
First published in the United States by St. Martin’s Griffin, an imprint of St. Martin’s Publishing Group
THE LOVE SCAM. Copyright © 2020 by MaryJanice Alongi. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Publishing Group, 120 Broadway, New York, NY 10271.
Cover design and illustration by Philip Pascuzzo
The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
ISBN 978-1-250-05316-9 (trade paperback)
ISBN 978-1-4668-5544-1 (ebook)
eISBN 9781466855441
Our ebooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension 5442, or by email at [email protected].
First Edition: 2020
* Translated from Italian.
* “Be quiet.”
* Drinks laden with vermouth.
* “You’re welcome, little sister.”
* The sordid details can be found in Danger, Sweetheart.
* “Hello, Mr. Tarbell. Miss Delaney asked you to meet her around the corner at our loading entrance.”
* This is a real thing from Etsy!
* “No offense, but most Americans aren’t fluent, even in English.”
“None taken. Everything you’ve heard about Americans is true. We’re the worst.”
† “I’m not a thief.”
* Again, the sordid details can be found in Danger, Sweetheart.
* “I would never judge my friend. She is far harder on herself than I could ever be.”
* This is a real book.
† It’s true! They sell it by the gallon.
* The Hunt for Red October by Tom Clancy.
* Blake is, in fact, running a high fever and is in a world of hurt of his own, per Danger, Sweetheart.
* Andover, Massachusetts.
* This is a real thing!
* It’s Belgrade! (I had to look it up.)
* They’re scaring me! I think they have guns! And I can’t find my mother!
* Rather heroic.