He must know, as he looks good, and I’m pretty pleased with the line. Hey I could even go round offering to do people’s hair for them in lockdown. Although that would be risky. I wouldn’t exactly be able to socially distance. Maybe I’ll scrap that idea then.
Suddenly, the razor makes a funny little noise, halfway between a bee getting caught in a spider’s web and a hoover sucking up a coin. Then it stops. I squint at it, dust off some hair with my little razor brush (why are they so small? It does barely anything) and flick the remaining hair off with my towel. I put the razor back to my hair and try again. Nope, nada, nothing. It’s totally dead.
Now I’m beginning to panic. This can’t be happening – it has to work. I turn it on and off again and shout at it in agitated tones, imploring it to work. It’s always been a good trusty razor and has never let me down until now. I bash it on my hand for good measure, just in case I can somehow jolt it back into activity. But it won’t … do … anything. I stand there staring dumbly at it as though somehow by sheer willpower I can make it work. I catch sight of myself in the mirror.
If I thought I looked bad before, this is something else. I have one side of my head trimmed quite neatly and the other, well one bit near my ear is short, then the rest rises up in one great big tuft, waving triumphantly at the ceiling. I look awful. It’s not even like those cool hairdos people have where they shave one side and the other’s long. This just looks wrong.
Dua Lipa blasts out again. ‘Sam,’ I answer.
‘Hi, Jack. You’ve missed a bit, mate.’
Chapter 9
Sophia
‘So what do you think of these?’ Jess asks. We are currently on FaceTime and she is wafting gazebo designs at me.
‘Erm, lovely?’ I say.
‘Sophia, are you concentrating? I need to know which one to pick.’
‘I thought you liked the one with the swathed curtains?’
‘Yes I do, but it’s over £200 to hire and it seems a bit expensive.’
‘What about the lacy-style one?’
‘That looks too cheap, don’t you think?’
‘Not really, it’s quite pretty and it is less money, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, but I don’t like the colour. It looks off-white; I think it’ll clash with my dress.’
‘Then you’ll have to stick with the one you like.’
‘Oh I don’t know, Zach is going to go mad about this.’
‘Just don’t tell him,’ I suggest. ‘It’s not like he’s going to look through every account is it?’
‘Mad about what?’ I hear Zach ask in the background.
‘Nothing, darling, just didn’t want you inundated with presents you might hate like, I don’t know … doilies or something.’
‘You are hilarious,’ I laugh. ‘Doilies? They went out at the end of the last century. He’s never going to believe we were talking about wedding presents.’
‘It’s worked anyway; he seems to have gone. That’s the trouble with this flipping lockdown, you can’t get away from each other any more.’
‘Here speaks the soon-to-be-married woman,’ I joke. But inside I don’t feel half so light-hearted about it. This could have been me if things had been different. I know I need to move on from the constant ‘what ifs’ but the way 2020 is working out, it doesn’t look as though I’ll be able to get out there again any time soon.
‘You wait; you’ll see when you find the next love of your life. Speaking of which …’
Here we go. Sometimes I wish Jess would just stop.
‘No,’ I say firmly, before changing the subject. ‘Did I show you these beautiful pictures the kids did at school?’
‘Yes they’re very nice, but don’t change the subject. I have a lush, I mean really decent guy from work who has said he would love to meet up with you.’
‘No, definitely not.’ To be honest I would like to meet someone, but not anyone Jess recommends. It’s bad enough she tries to manage my life for me without picking my boyfriends as well. ‘Anyway as you pointed out, it’s not possible during a lockdown,’ I add.
‘I meant on Zoom or FaceTime, silly. Come on, he’s good-looking, single …’
‘That always helps,’ I remark drily.
‘Good sense of humour …’
‘Hmmm that’s important.’ I don’t add any more because actually maybe he does sound okay, but you never know with Jess.
‘… And seems really caring. I saw him with a lovely bunch of