Love, Creekwood - Becky Albertalli Page 0,17
taxes and buy health insurance with him? Do you feel like you can even know that right now? And if he’s the one, Simon, do you actually want to do this when you’re nineteen? You have to understand that Bram’s going to be asking himself all these things.
And Simon, say Bram decides yeah, I’m all in. He’ll either be freaking the fuck out, 24/7, waiting for you to actually ask him, or he’s going to turn around and do it himself. Are you ready to be proposed to? Do you know how you’d answer?
I’m sorry, Si, I’m not trying to freak you out. But I get the sense you two are really serious about each other, which means this isn’t just some thought exercise. It’s not something to play around with. I know that’s not your intention, of course, but make sure you’re thinking everything through, okay? Be careful with your heart, and his.
Look, I’m not worried about tomorrow. I can explain everything to Luke before you get there, and we’ll nip this in the bud. But . . . maybe you and Bram should talk about this stuff at some point? I don’t know, maybe you already have. And to be clear, I don’t think most nineteen-year-old couples need to bring this shit into the room anytime soon.
But I think maybe you guys do.
Simon, why don’t you start with this question for yourself: What made you think of telling Luke this was a marriage proposal? Don’t tell me it’s so he’d take the birthday surprise seriously, I get that. But why a marriage proposal?
And how did it feel when you said it out loud?
FROM: [email protected]
DATE: JAN 22 AT 1:56 PM
SUBJECT: IT’S YOU.
Dear Jacques,
Just think: In four months, we’ll be home again, with the whole summer ahead of us, and none of this will feel real. This semester won’t even leave a mark, Simon. It’ll be like some story we heard two years ago.
I can’t wait to forget what missing you feels like.
Well. You’re officially on a plane, and I’ve got about an hour left until mine boards. The goodbye hasn’t really hit me yet. It feels like maybe you’re in the bathroom, or buying overpriced breath mints (mints that I won’t get to experience secondhand) (okay, now it’s starting to hit me).
You know what I hate about endings? The way they always feel like we made some tactical error. Like time only passed because we let it. Can you believe I’m out here regretting the end of January, like it was my choice?
I keep thinking about what Nick said on New Year’s about video game save points. Our little philosopher. I forgot how much sense he makes sometimes (even more so when I’ve had champagne, apparently). I can’t remember how much of that discussion you were there for (I think this was when you were upstairs FaceTiming Kellan and Grover). But I’ll try to walk you through the context.
Okay, so this was about one or two in the morning, and Taylor was relentlessly trying to make a singalong happen. But everyone was pretty lukewarm about it (except Leah, who was emphatically disinterested), so Taylor just started singing by herself. And it was one of those moments, Simon. You want to roll your eyes, because it’s Taylor, but her voice kind of stopped us all in our tracks. It was that song “More Than Words” (I think it’s on your Amtrak shuffle playlist, right?). Anyway, Nick jumped in and started playing it on his guitar and doing this really quiet vocal harmony, and I think we were all a little spellbound. And as soon as it was over, Leah jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Obviously, Abby went after her, and they were both a little red-eyed when they came back. So Taylor asked if they were okay, and Abby smiled and said, “I just wish I could freeze this moment.”
So Nick just kind of stared at them for a minute, and I felt so nauseated, Simon. Because I really thought Nick was in a good place about the whole Abby and Leah thing, but of course I started second-guessing everything. Like, I actually flinched a little when Nick opened his mouth, because I was so sure he was going to say something awkward. But he got this faraway look on his face, and started talking about time and memory. And that’s when you walked in, but I don’t know if you caught what he was saying.
It was