me like that, stroking long and hard at just the right angle, groaning my name into my mouth. And when I’m done waking Sonia and Jeff and Adam up with the sound of his name cried out, he slows down, stays inside of me, touches me everywhere, puts his hand between us, rubbing my clit as he fucks me until I come again, even harder and deeper this time. I’ve never felt anything like this and I know I’m all done with other guys now forever. No more Michael Bolton fans, that’s for fucking sure. I’m so far gone, so blown away by the way he makes me feel that if I’m not careful I might accidentally ask him to marry me. When he finally comes inside of me, he’s so overwhelmed I think he might even say yes. But I’m not completely insane so I don’t ask him to marry me. I’m only twenty-one, for heaven’s sake. Come on now.
When it’s over and the dawn is creeping in and I’m finally calm again, I nestle in his arms beneath the blankets and feel the warmth all the way down to my soul.
“God, Emmylou, what am I going to do with you?” he whispers against my neck.
“I don’t know,” I say. “Just . . . stay.”
“I’m trying,” he says. “I swear, I’m trying.”
I laugh because now I get that it’s true. He really is trying not to leave. Now if only I could try to not push him out the door.
“I want you to know something,” I whisper.
“Tell me,” he whispers back, his lips resting against my brow. All his words feel like a kiss.
“I’ve never let anyone . . .” I start to say, but then I feel awkward. He pulls back to look at my face and suddenly I feel shy. He brushes the hair from my eyes.
“What is it?” he asks.
“I’ve only done it with a few guys before you but I’ve always used a condom. This is the first time I’ve ever done it without one. I just want you to know that.”
Travis lets out a long, happy sigh before he rolls me onto my back. He hovers and he’s so hard against me I think I’m already ready for him all over again.
“Emmylou,” he says, and he’s smiling as he kisses me, that super big, happy Travis smile. “You’re my first, too.”
Chapter Fourteen
When I wake up in my bed, Travis is holding me. We are completely naked under the covers. And he’s still here.
Several minutes later he wakes up and he’s still holding me because although I have to pee, I haven’t moved. I don’t want to move. I don’t want to be in that moment where his arms are no longer around me. I feel him tense with awareness and I’m hoping he will hug me or do something to let me know this is fine, we’re fine, even though there’s so much that needs to get worked out. I feel his arms tighten around me as he draws me closer, and I sigh in relief.
“Good morning,” he says, all sleepy, into my hair.
“Good afternoon,” I say, and pray my breath isn’t as dragony fresh as I feel. “Want to go out for coffee?”
He rolls over and looks at my clock.
“Shit,” he says.
“What?”
“I really need to get my paper done. What time are we supposed to meet Billy Broadband?”
“Eight,” I say.
“I should go,” he says. “I’ll come by at seven so we can run through ‘Loud’ a couple of times before we head over.”
“Sure,” I say, and even though it’s stupid, I’m crushed that he’s leaving. He sees me looking disappointed and stops.
“Fuck it,” he says. “I’m starving.”
I widen my eyes and feel the giant grin spread across my face and he asks if I want to go to the Hungry Peddler for pancakes and of course I do. Of course I do.
At the Hungry Peddler I’m watching Travis drink black coffee and eat a feta omelet, this one too brown on the bottom but he never complains about silly things like his eggs being overdone. He’s talking about Thomas Edison’s complicated relationship to Nikola Tesla like he’s giving a museum tour, he’s so interested in it. He’s the most original, talented guitarist I know (and I know a lot of guitarists), but he’s also the kind of guy who gets really fascinated by things like the rivalry between Edison and Tesla. And for the first time I’m seeing this quality of his as