never felt before. I feel uncomfortable and… needy.
I sit down where I’m at, still embarrassed and a little too high to do much else. The weed makes me tired. I’m not overly popular where I have a ton of girls coming up to me. My closest friends are the guys standing in front of me, and they’re having to good of a time lighting shit on fire.
My eyes wander back to Jackson. There’s something about him that makes me unsure of the world. He’s a complex character, and I’m used to the simplicity of Logan and Easton. Maybe it’s because I’ve known them forever, but there’s just something about Jackson that turns me upside down.
I watch as the three of them goof around. Logan laughs exuberantly as the fireworks get the crowd rowdy. Easton chuckles beside him, not nearly as outgoing as Logan, but still shows a lick of humanity inside him. Jackson shows nothing. I swear I saw a hint of a smile at one point, but it was gone within the next blink, so I’m sure it was just my imagination.
When they’re done with the fireworks, the party continues on. People drink, smoke, and have fun around the campfire that has grown to be as wide as my mom’s 1998 Plymouth Neon. I watch everyone for a while, then lay back in the grass and listen to the frogs in the nearby pond croak their annoyance at all the noise.
When my eyelids get heavy, I close my eyes, let the world spin, and drown in the chaos around me.
“Cara. Cara, wake up.” I feel a light nudge and Logan’s voice above me. My eyes creak open, the silence and darkness letting me know I’ve been out for a few hours. The smell of campfire has dissipated and sounds of music are long gone. The bugs and frogs have their peace back.
“What is it?” I sit up, wincing as my body sticks to the sweatshirt. I feel like shit, and I groan as I stand up. “Ugh, I feel like crap.”
“You look it. We’re heading out, let’s go.” He nods his head, and off in the distance I see Easton and Jackson standing there waiting for us.
We start walking towards them, and Logan nudges his shoulder against mine. “How was it? You passed out quick.”
I shrug. “Must’ve been the weed.”
Logan chuckles. “Lightweight. That wasn’t even the good shit.”
“Whatever.” I roll my eyes at him.
Once we make it to the other two, we all start walking home in silence. Just like every holiday, the moments after are left with a bittersweet taste. In the blink of an eye, it’s over. Every holiday is like this. Gone before anyone can really enjoy it. At least I’m glad I have these two… well, three now. They’re my family. I would have hated to listen to fireworks in the distance why I sat alone and lonely in my house.
When we walk into the park, the occasional light casts a glow under us. Only some of the lights work, but the ones that do always seem extra bright. Easton is in front, walking towards his house. Logan and I are walking behind him, and Jackson walks behind us.
When I feel a burning palm wrap around my wrist, I stop and turn around. Jackson releases me like I’m a hot ember. Or that he hates my touch. Either way, I give him a shocked look. “What the hell?”
He’s staring down at my pants, and when I look down, I see a dark spot between my legs.
Oh my God, I got my period.
Of course, this happens right when we’re underneath one of the bright lights, making me light up like I’m under a spotlight. I’m front and center on the stage.
“What’s going on?” Logan says, just moments before an ice-cold drink is poured over me. My entire sweatshirt, shorts, and legs become completely drenched in what looks to be like Kool-Aid but smells suspiciously like alcohol.
“Dude, what the hell did you do that for?” Logan asks with an edge to his tone.
“What the fuck are you guys doing?” Easton asks, walking up to us.
I stand with my arms out, red liquid dripping from my clothes and body onto the cracked pavement. I stare at Jackson, watching as his eyes bore into mine, so many emotions swimming in them. Until suddenly, they blank out.
I sinister smirk crosses his face. It’s the first time I’ve seen him smile, even if this one is filled with malice and hollowed