and inside is a curtain covering his room. She starts walking forward and pulls it aside, Wesley in the cart right beside her. "Look who came to see you."
The nurse pushes me forward, and Jackson comes into view. I swallow down my gasp and sob at what I see. Jackson, barely conscious, hooked up to about as many wires and machines I think a person can be hooked up to. His bed is slightly elevated, and his body lay limp on the bed.
He follows me with his eyes, but the rest of him doesn't move a muscle.
"I'm just going to let you visit a little bit. I'll be back shortly to check on you." The nurse pats my shoulder again and walks out, shutting the curtain behind us.
"Hi." I squeak.
His eyes bore into me. A mixture of agony, anger, relief, and sadness play like a record on repeat in his gaze. The noises from the hallway are muted and the only thing that I can hear is my nervous breathing.
“How are you?” I ask when he doesn’t say anything.
“What have the doctors said today?” Rose asks from the side of the room. His eyes shoot over to his and then flit back over to me.
He ignores her, too.
I’m also noticing that he isn’t even passing a glance at his child.
“The baby is doing well.” I’m hoping that if I give him enough good news, maybe he’ll speak up. Say something. Anything. To me, at least.
“Rose says that he’s a good baby. Doesn’t fuss much besides when he’s hungry.” I look down at Wesley and a smile automatically comes to my face. When I look back at Jackson, he’s still staring at me. His eyes haven’t once strayed from my face.
He swallows, and I watch as his throat works. Like he’s holding back from speaking the words he so badly wants to say. Can he not speak, either?
Or has he chosen to once again live in the silence?
“Do you know when you’re getting out of here? I haven’t talked to the doctor, but I’m hoping I can get out of here within the next couple days.” It feels awkward, talking to nothing. It’s why I barely talked to Jackson throughout the years. I won’t give up on him though this time.
I can’t.
“I got a name for him.” My voice pleads this time. “Wesley Logan.”
His nostrils flare and his eyes grow a fire. It makes my heart speed up.
Finally. Something.
“Good thing you’re giving the baby up. No use in having a kid when I can’t even fuckin’ walk.” His voice rasps for the first time. His voice sounds so unused and worked over. Tired. He sounds utterly tired.
And his words are like a dart right into my heart.
“Um, actually… that’s the thing. Colton and Amanda stopped in, and I told them I was going to keep the baby.
He closes his eyes, seemingly asleep since his body doesn’t move a muscle until he tears me into shreds with his words.
“You really are fucking stupid, aren’t you?” He says, eyes still closed, and his head stays tilted to the side. “I can’t walk, and I’m never going to again. I can’t—I can’t fucking do this with you. I want you, and that baby, to get out of my room. Get out of my room, get out of this hospital, and get out of my life.”
“But—” I start.
His eyes open, and fury lays beneath the surface of his irises that are just begging to be released. “Go, Cara. Get out of here.” He looks like he wants to rage and tear this room apart, but he can’t.
And I think that’s the saddest part of all.
With tears streaming down my face, I drop my head between my shoulders and let out silent sobs as I feel Rose come up behind me and start pushing me out of the hospital room. The baby’s cart pops up beside me and I lay my hand on his stomach as we exit his room.
Then he obliterates my already beaten heart. “You’d be smart to go and ask Amanda and Colton to take the baby back. No point now.” He mumbles, and I wouldn’t have been able to even hear him if I didn’t know Jackson. Rose might not even have heard him.
But I did.
I clench Wesley’s baby blanket in my hand as I hold back a scream wanting to be set free.
“Looks like it’s just you and me, Wesley.” I whisper to him, wishing I could change things are already