Long Time Running - By Hannah Foster Page 0,50

up. I would have taken him. I would have brought him home," he told her emphatically. "And I wouldn't have given you up either; I would have helped."

Nathalie studied him carefully. It was completely normal for people, when hearing of an inhuman situation, to think somehow they could have altered the outcome.

"You would have now," she corrected him gently. "But if you're honest I think you'll admit that you wouldn't have rushed to my side to claim a son you didn't want."

"That I didn't know about," he repeated.

Nathalie pulled her hand away. "I have a lot of responsibility for the situation we are all in," she told him tightly, "but I didn't get us here on my own. You had a role too. You made your opinions very well known and you were quite clear about your inflexibility when it came to those opinions."

"You never gave me the chance!" he protested. "You never gave me the chance to step up to the plate."

"It was never a question that you would step up to the plate," she corrected. "It was whether or not you would hate me and our baby as a result. God Eric! Do you have any idea what kind of fear that was for me? Do you?"

"How about me? Do you have any idea what your disappearance did to me? How I felt? I was sure you had been kidnapped or something. You ran and I lost everything."

Scoffing she sprang to her feet. "You? You lost everything? Is that really a conversation you want to have with me?"

"You gave him up," he said flatly as his anger and hurt roared to the surface. "You thought strangers would be better than me. You thought giving him away was easier than telling me the truth."

Nathalie took a step back, her green eyes blazing angrily. "Easy? After everything I've told you, you really think there is anything in this that was easy? I couldn't pick him up, Eric. I couldn't even look at him - my own son - because every time I did I saw blood and limbs and images no person should have in their brain." Her hands trembled. "Admit it Eric, it's your ego that's hurt. That I believed you to be who you said you were and therefore uninterested in being a parent is what is pissing you off."

"Don't you dare make this about my ego!" he bellowed, jumping up. "You dismissed my feelings then and you're doing it now. I never got the chance to see my son born - you took that from me."

"You missed four months" she told him. "I have missed almost eight years. You are living here with a successful career, your best friend close by and your son while I am living in a hell that you cannot conceive of. I lost everything Eric - EVERYTHING!"

"So did I!"

"You have Jack!" she shouted.

"But I lost you! You - YOU were my everything! And you left!"

"I HAD NO CHOICE!"

"You had EVERY choice but you got scared and you ran. You didn't trust me - you didn't love me enough!"

"I left because I loved you!" she countered as she paced angrily.

"That's bullshit"

"Fine!" she replied in exasperation. "Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa! If you're looking for a pound of flesh," she twisted and lifted up her shirt, showing her scar, "I've already given it."

Eric blew out his cheeks. "Nathalie," he sighed.

"No" she shook her head. "Admit it Eric, you hate me. And this," she pointed to the rumpled sheets on the bed, "was just a chance for you to complete the exorcism. You laid your ghost - well done. You're free now."

Brushing past him she grabbed her jeans and pulled them on before darting out of the room in search of her shoes.

"Nathalie, where are you going?" he asked, regretting letting his emotions get the better of him.

"Leaving you to your celebration! You got the whole story and got me to admit I still love you while you having nothing but loathing and contempt for me. You can celebrate finally being free of me."

"That's not true - I don't....I don't hate you."

She gave him a look of incredulity. "Yes you do. You just don't have the guts to admit it."

Everything became a blur before her eyes as the pain in her head blinded her. The alkaline taste in her mouth was familiar and gripping her head she stumbled forward trying to find the door.

"Nathalie!" Eric called to her as she swayed.

Her entire body