Long Time Running - By Hannah Foster Page 0,46
a doctor." The tears continued to fall and she could do little to stop them.
"And so for sport, really, they started hacking at people with the machetes and making me run from person to person and try and fix them. There was so much blood" she whispered. "And I couldn't stop it."
"Oh Nat," he sighed.
On his worst day as a surgeon he could not imagine facing something like that. She was shivering uncontrollably and he pulled the throw from the arm of the couch and wrapped it around her shoulders.
"Then....then they set fire to all the houses. I was so busy trying to bandage people and...and stop the bleeding" she rasped, "that I didn't even think about my house. People were dying and I was frantic trying to save them. And then..."
Reaching to the table she picked up the glass and drank the remaining water. "And then I heard a scream - a baby's scream. I don't think it was Jack but I stopped what I was doing and I looked over in the direction of my house and it was in flames." The last few words dropped from her mouth like the weight of them was more than could be borne.
Eric moved to comfort her but she shook her head.
"I...I ran into the house. There were flames licking at the doorway to his room but I had...I had to get him and so I ran through and grabbed him from his crib. I was running towards the front door when the house kind of groaned." She pulled at the cuff of her jeans again, twisting a stray thread around her finger.
"The roof?" he asked.
Nathalie nodded. "A beam holding up the roof broke and fell on top of me. I'm not even sure how I got out," she said quietly. "All I know is I got a few feet from the house and collapsed. The next thing I knew it was a week later and I was in the hospital in Tanzania."
"Nat, I don't....I'm not sure what to say."
She shook her head. "There is nothing to say. All but six people died that night. I was in the hospital for about three weeks and then was released. Mylea, one of my nurses from the village in the Congo brought me home with her."
"There's something I don't understand," he told her carefully. "If you thought it was too dangerous for Jack why didn't you come back to the States rather than give him up?"
Her eyes met his and she stared for several beats. "I didn't believe I had anything to come back to." Smiling sadly, she gave a small shrug. "But it was more than that."
"Like what?" he prodded gently.
"I couldn't....I couldn't pick him up. I couldn't feed him or change him. Every time he cried I would see things from that night and I couldn't go near him. I loved him more than anything" she said hoarsely as tears streamed down her cheeks. "But I couldn't be around him." She gasped for air.
He rubbed his hand over his face. "Nathalie - that is classic post-traumatic stress."
"Maybe. All I know is I wanted to care for my son but I couldn't go near him. It was killing me Eric."
He didn't realize it but several tears were streaking down his cheeks as well.
"I tried but after several weeks of other people feeding him and caring for him it became painfully obvious that I was no mother to him - no matter if I wanted to be. So....so I called Sarah. After, after I signed the papers transferrin guardianship to her and she left with Jack I fell to pieces. It was only through Mylea's persistence that I got back on my feet at all. So you see, it's not that his pictures on your bookshelf are disturbing. It's just...it hurts more than I can even say to see him. To know what I gave up" she said with a shuddering breath.
Moving beside her, Eric closed his arms around her and softly kissed her cheek. "I am so sorry" he whispered. He rubbed his hand along her back trying to stem the shaking.
"I know....I know you have questions" she said against his shoulder. "But I don't think I can talk much more right now."
"That's okay," he reassured her, kissing her cheek again. "Just stay here and rest, okay?"
She nodded and let herself be enveloped by his warmth. She had no idea what was to happen next or where either of them stood at