Lone Prince (Royally Unexpected #7) - Lilian Monroe Page 0,53
ago, I would have said all I want is to run a successful business. I want to be independent and have the security of a large nest egg. I want to be able to live a good life without worrying about food or electricity bills like my mother did.
But…for what? Who am I providing for? Myself?
As I sit beside my grandmother, realizing just how frail she’s become, the world seems to tilt on its axis. I’ve spent the better part of a decade burying myself in work and ignoring the family I still have. I’ve prioritized work and business over relationships every time I had to make a choice.
But what if Grandma had a worse accident than a broken hip? What if she wasn’t as fit and active as she is, and her fall had more severe consequences? What if I lost her, too, without ever expecting it? Then I’d truly be alone, and being alone doesn’t feel quite the same as being independent.
“Mom worked hard, but she wasn’t able to get ahead because she had me,” I say, my voice choking on my words. “I’m different. I don’t have a baby dragging me down.”
“Oh, hush,” Grandma says, swatting my leg. “Dragging her down? Is that what you think you did?”
“She could have had a better life if she hadn’t had me. She had to feed and clothe me and make sure I got a good education. She never even dated anyone after my father, and I’m pretty sure it was because she didn’t want to bring a man into my life.” My throat tightens. I stare at the floor, willing myself not to cry. “Then she died, Grandma. She gave me everything, and then it was over. If she’d been on her own, maybe…”
“Look at me, Rowan.” My grandmother’s voice is stern.
I close my eyes for a moment, then drag my gaze to meet hers.
Grandma takes my face in her hands, holding me still. “You were not a burden, Rowan. You were a gift.”
“She would have been okay without me. She might have lived—”
“Stop it. You were the light of her life. You don’t know what would have happened if she hadn’t had you. Every time I called her, all she ever talked about was you. Your achievements. Your grades. Every time you scored a goal when you played soccer.”
“You don’t think that’s a burden?” My voice cracks. “Everything she did was for me. She died when she was just forty, Grandma, and she didn’t even know she was sick until it was too late. She was too busy taking care of me. Always me. Never herself.”
My grandmother intertwines her fingers around mine. She stares me in the eye, squeezing my hand. “It was not your fault your mother passed away, Rowan. Do you hear me?”
I sigh, looking away. Grandma jerks my hand until I meet her gaze.
“Do you understand?”
“I understand, but I’m just not sure I agree.” I push myself to my feet, giving Grandma a pinched smile. “I should let you get some rest. I’ve got work to do.”
“You’re more like your mother than you think,” my grandmother says, shaking her head. She closes her eyes to let me know the conversation is over, and I let out a deep sigh.
As I walk out of the room, my head spins. There’s only one thought that steadies me—the Prince. When I think of the way I felt when I was with him, the whole world seems to come into sharp focus. Nothing felt complicated when I was with him. Nothing felt difficult.
Yes, I’m still fighting my attraction to him. I know we have no future together, but these questions about who I am? About who my mother was? About what I really want out of life?
None of them matter when I’m with Wolfe.
Finding the card with the palace phone number in my purse, I take a deep breath and call. I try to put on my most professional voice as I request access to the office. They instruct me they’ll send a car right away, and I feel almost like royalty myself.
I glance down the hallway toward my grandmother’s room, and I try to push down the unease in my gut.
What if she’s right? What if all my work to be independent is for nothing? What if my mother didn’t see me as a burden at all? Her death wasn’t my fault, and I shouldn’t carry it on my conscience?
What if there’s more to life than just independence,