London Dynasty (The Dynasties #1) - Geneva Lee Page 0,61

or I could be the failure no one bothered with. So I took the easier road. I became the fuck up. I got into trouble. I got kicked out of schools. I was uncontrollable. Wild. And somehow that was easier for all of us. It was easier to write me off and let me do as I please. Grandfather put all of his time and attention into Spencer, and I simply became the charming bachelor you see before you.”

“Is that what you are?” I asked him quietly. More and more, I could see the cracks in his act.

“I think you’ll find that in our family, we all have our roles to play. I hope you understand that.”

“I understand what’s expected of me,” I said simply, withdrawing my hand. My heart hurt for him. It hurt for the boy that had lost his father and nearly lost his brother. I understood what it was like to feel trapped with no options. I understood what it was like to become what they wanted you to be rather than what you might have been if given enough time and respect.

“At least you can’t say I didn’t warn you.” He didn’t look at me the rest of the way to Hampstead. I got out of the Jaguar in silence. Before I was through the gate, he rolled down the window and called after me. “Kerrigan?”

I stopped and waited.

“If you were mine, I would never share you.” Then he threw the car in reverse and drove away.

Chapter Twenty-Five

A week passed, and I ignored Spencer’s calls and text messages. I couldn’t face him. Not after what happened with Holden. Not after what I’d learned. What kind of life was I consigning Kerrigan to? What kind of life was I consigning myself to? I didn’t have any answers. I simply knew that it was dangerous to be around either brother. I needed a plan. A way to keep my emotions detached from the situation. Eliza’s had backfired. Instead of spreading myself between the brothers, I now felt more divided than ever. Spencer had shown me glimpses of the man he would become, but Holden had bared his soul to me. I didn’t expect he would do so again, and yet, I couldn’t forget what I knew.

Like me, they had taken their roles as if they had no choice. There were tens of millions if not billions of reasons in their future. I knew it was impossible to walk away from that kind of money. How much harder would it be to have never had any choice at all?

I spent most of the week avoiding social activities by claiming a terrible bout of menstrual cramps. Iris had taken to checking on me every day, bringing me a cocktail of pain relievers she swore up and down would get me on my feet in no time. But there were no cramps. No reason to take them. The last thing I wanted was to be on my feet. I wanted to hide. At least until I could figure out what to do. But each day that passed made me more anxious. I’d agreed to a year pretending to be Kerrigan Belmond. The only thing that would deliver me from that contract was the passage of time or her return. I was beginning to understand that I couldn’t survive a year torn between the brothers. Not without losing something I couldn’t replace. They were never mine. I needed to remember that. I needed to get away before I forgot that fact entirely. But I had no idea where to start.

The following Monday, Giles arrived with my coffee and found me on my couch in front of the fire.

“I hope you’re feeling better,” he said pointedly.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he kept track of things like menstrual periods for Kerrigan. Either way, it was clear he knew I was lying. Still, he hadn’t called me out on my bullshit. If he took issue with what I was doing, he said nothing to me. Even Tod had given me space. If there was one thing a girl could count on, it was that men got squeamish when female problems came up.

“I am. I think it’s behind me now.” I needed another excuse. Something to buy me time. It wasn’t like I could pretend to be on my period still. Not unless I wanted them to push for medical attention.

“Good, there are some matters to attend to. As you requested, I canceled any social