How Gooney Bird Got Her Name
Once upon a time, eight years ago, a man and a woman named Mr. and Mrs. Greene—that's Greene with a silent 'e' at the end—discovered that they were expecting a baby girl.
The man's name was Gordon Greene. His wife was Barbara Greene.
They decided to name their baby girl with their initials. G for Gordon, B for Barbara.
They thought of many different names.
"Gail Beth," said Mrs. Greene. She liked short names.
"Gwendolyn Belinda," said Mr. Greene. He liked long names.
They discussed and discussed. They never argued or fought. But they had many discussions.
Once, in the middle of the night, Mrs. Greene woke up. She had had a dream about a name. She nudged Mr. Greene until he woke up a little bit. Then she said, "Georgina Babette."
"No," he said, and went back to sleep.
One night Mr. Greene woke up, nudged his wife, and told her that he had had a dream. "Gazpacho Banana," he said.
"That was a nightmare you had," his wife said. He agreed. They both went back to sleep.
Finally, because they could not make up their minds about a name, they decided that they would wait until the baby girl was born. Then they would look at the baby and somehow they would know that her name should be Grace Bridget, or Gloria Bonnie, or some other name.
They waited and waited for the baby's birth. It takes many months, as you know.
Gooney Bird paused in her story. She could see that many of the children wanted to wave their hands in the air and say things.
"Class?" she said. "Any comments so far? Any questions?"
"We have nine minutes left," Mrs. Pidgeon reminded them, "before arithmetic."
Keiko asked in a small voice, "Did he really say Gazpacho Banana?"
"Yes, he did," Gooney Bird said. "I tell only absolutely true stories."
Barry Tuckerman stood up beside his desk. "I was named a B name for my grandfather," he said. "My grandfather's name was Benjamin."
"That's my name!" Ben called out.
"My grandfather was in college when my grandmother went to jail," Barry added, "or he would have gone with her."
Tricia raised her hand. "My cat's name is Fluffernutter," she said.
"Four more minutes!" Mrs. Pidgeon announced. "Let's let Gooney Bird get back to her story so that we can hear the ending.
"Did you notice, class," she added, "how she uses characters and dialogue? And her story is full of suspense. It's a cliffhanger, isn't it? What a good storyteller Gooney Bird is!"
"Ready?" Gooney Bird asked.
"Ready!" shouted the class, all but Felicia Ann, who never shouted.
"Okay. Here comes the ending."
Finally, one spring morning, the baby girl was born. She weighed six pounds and fourteen ounces. She had red hair.
"Look!" said her mother. "She wiggles her head around, looking for food when she's hungry. Isn't that cute! It reminds me of something, but I forget what."