been carried to the front of the house. It was almost in the same place I’d been the first time I was here with Jason and Claire. Only this time I was sitting alone, and it wasn’t Jason I was waiting for, it was Logan.
“Logan’s coming in a minute,” said a voice behind me. “He said you were up here waiting for us.”
I closed my eyes and didn’t look at Samantha as she slid onto the bench a few feet away. There were no other sounds so I knew she’d come alone. I sensed she wanted to say something, but I didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t know me. She didn’t know anything about me. She hadn’t earned the right to tell me what to do, or warn me away from Logan, or whatever she felt the need to share. I had this under control… Mostly… But I didn’t need a thing from her, no matter how nice she seemed.
“You know…” she started. Her voice faded, and when I looked over, she stared down at the table. “Logan’s hurt a lot of gir—”
“How many times have we met?” I interrupted her.
She looked up, slightly surprised. “Logan told me you were here the last time Blaze had a party.”
So she’d been asking about me. I could tell she was full of wisdom about Logan. Maybe I should hear what she had to say. She didn’t strike me as someone malicious, but she was too much for me right now.
“We’ve only officially met tonight.” I held her gaze, making sure she couldn’t look away. “When you meet people for the first time, do you usually force a heart-to-heart with them?”
I didn’t want to be confrontational, but I needed to push her back, get some breathing room.
Her mouth opened. She had a response, but she held it. No sound came from her until a rueful laugh slipped out. She hung her head, her eyes closing for a beat before she looked back up at me. Her cheeks were pink now. “You’re right. I’m out of line. But just so you know, it’s not because of you. I don’t know you. You’re right about that, too, and I have no place telling you what to do. It’s just…” She trailed off, shifting to look out at the street. The moonlight lit up her face, and I was reminded once more how beautiful she was. An ache dug its way inside my chest, making a hole there. Logan cared for her in a way that I wanted him to care for me.
I had feelings for Logan. There it was. I admitted it to myself.
“You’re different,” Sam said quietly. “Logan’s never acted this way around a girl, and I’m sorry, but that’s why I’m acting like a pushy mother, or a pushy big sister.” She swung her dark eyes over to me and I was surprised to find a haunting quality in them.
My irritation with her melted. Whatever haunted her, my own pain responded. I was looking at myself, then she blinked, and it was gone. The connection we’d had broke.
“I told Logan I’d be a friend to you,” she continued. “So I’d like to do that, and I’d like to do it the way I’d want it done for me: No opinions. No judgments. Just an easy acceptance.”
That sounded wonderful.
She ducked her head and gave me a half-smile. “If you’d like that?”
“I would.” A rueful laugh followed my words. “Being friends with people is work. You have to give, and you have to be okay with not getting back. I’ve been friends with Claire and Jason since seventh grade, and we’ve all had times when we haven’t been the best. The last nine months have been my selfish time. I only took from them. I didn’t give back because I didn’t have it in me to give back, but since starting school…”
I shrugged and looked down. We sat side by side, both turned toward the street. “I was going to only be friends with them and make a point of giving them whatever they needed. But all that went out the door when Logan sat next to me in sociology. Somehow, and I truly have no idea how, he’s become my friend.” I gazed over at her. “And having said all of that, yes; I’d love to have one more friend this year.”
People didn’t usually proclaim that they were going to be friends. But this felt like the most natural thing in the world.