doubt been super fashionable in the 1980s. Eyes ringed with kohl. Some people could never move on, spent their whole lives living in the past. He stumbled for a moment. “She’s nice enough, but I don’t want her help.”
Elizabeth recognized something in that look. “You want me to help you?” she asked quietly.
“Do you mind?”
She took his hand in one of hers, patted it with the other. “I’ll go and see if the bathroom is free.”
* * *
Panny helped her to set up a plastic chair with holes in the seat in the corner of the bathroom, and Elizabeth found a clean washcloth and some soap from the bag she had packed days before. But while Tom had managed to find his tongue, it had been three days since he’d stepped from his bed, and when he did, he was as wobbly as a new baby deer.
“You need to stay off the sauce,” Panny said, propping him up as he wobbled along with his walker.
“Nothing wrong with my walking, Panda. It’s all that black stuff around your eyes. You just can’t see me properly.”
Elizabeth wiped her eyes dry and followed them into the bathroom.
Moments later they found themselves alone. “You’ll have to do it for me,” he said, motioning to his pajama bottoms while he clung to his walker. They both knew that something fundamental would change in their relationship after this, when she would go from being his longtime love to his caregiver. It was a privilege to do things for him that he could no longer do himself, but it was also a reminder of just how many things had changed. Still, his smile was a rare reflection from the past, genuine and cheeky. “You didn’t come over all shy, did you?”
“Get away with you,” she said, reaching down to unfasten his trousers. With one pop of the button she whipped them open and they dropped to his ankles. “Nothing I haven’t seen before, is it?”
He looked up; he appeared so vulnerable, slightly hunched with his trousers round his ankles. She had to admit they made for a comical sight, her all fingers and thumbs and him with his trousers down. If anybody could see us now, she thought to herself as Tom took a seat. As she slipped the pajama top down his back and helped him slide his arms through the sleeves, she felt his loose skin moving under her fingertips, the edges of his bones. The body she once knew was changed even from a few nights ago when they’d last slept together. Everything was wrong with the image before her, from his hair being too long and sweaty around the hairline, to his back, which was red in the areas receiving too much pressure in the bed. But as she lathered up the washcloth and began to smooth it over his skin, the sound of his enjoyment brought a sad smile to her face. Setting the washcloth down, she used her hands to glide over his back, kissing the top of his head when he reached up and patted her hand.
“What made you want a shower, anyway?” she asked as she turned on the water and began to rinse the soap from his back.
“I’ve got to make a special effort today, haven’t I?” It helped that she couldn’t see his face, unsure how she would cope if she had to deal with his upset. The date had loomed on the horizon, even though none of them had spoken of it. “Alice is leaving this afternoon, if I haven’t completely lost my mind. Am I right?” As he waited for an answer, she saw his face in profile. Somewhere under that loose skin, he was still the man she had fallen in love with all those years ago.
“You haven’t completely lost it, no. Do you think she still intends to go?”
“Knowing her, I’ll bet she does.”
Elizabeth was surprised by the speed of her adaptation to her new role, could even say she was enjoying the process, her ability to care for a person she loved. Isn’t that what love is, she pondered, being there for a person when they need you? How quickly things became normal. Even things like this.
“Maybe she’ll change her mind,” Elizabeth said. “She’s wearing her wedding ring, after all.”
“Is she?” He thought for a moment, then shook his head. “I doubt it. She starts her new job tomorrow, and she’s a stubborn little madam.”