The Little Teashop in Tokyo by Julie Caplin Page 0,22
a half sob, half giggle. ‘Like the Abba song, “When I kissed the teacher”.’
Both of Setsuko’s eyebrows rose, startled.
‘I know.’ Fiona took in a deep breath, horrified that she’d blurted it out like that. ‘I don’t know why I told you that.’
‘Perhaps because you needed to.’
‘I kissed him. He was standing in front of me, in the corridor. It was the end of the week and I knew I might never see him again. And I was mad about him. And stupidly I’d convinced myself that he might feel the same. So I stood on tip toe. Kissed him. Right on the mouth.’ She paused watching Setsuko’s reaction carefully.
Now Setsuko began to smile. ‘You kissed Gabe san.’ Her mouth curved, shy dimples appearing.
Fiona nodded.
Setsuko sniggered, an unladylike snuffly snorting noise that was most unlike her usual graceful demeanour. ‘You kissed Gabe.’ She clapped her hands over her mouth, her eyes dancing with mirth.
Fiona, remembering the moment, suddenly saw the ridiculousness of it. That quick, hasty bob up to peck at his mouth and she smiled back at Setsuko, a giggle escaping.
‘I know. Crazy teenage hormones.’ And as she relaxed and saw the funny side of it, escaping the band of shame that had dogged her for so many years, a memory tumbled loose – his hands, warm and firm, coming to rest on her hips, steadying them. Her pulse missed a beat. And with a heart-jolting shock, she remembered his lips moving under hers. He. Had. Kissed. Her. Back.
She sat up straight and had to put a hand over her heart to steady the ridiculous rollicking beat that it had taken up. Gabe had kissed her back … and she’d completely forgotten. It had been buried in everything that came after. Not that it meant anything now but it kind of made up for all that embarrassment. The humiliation … well, that had come later.
‘What happened after that?’ asked Setsuko, her almond eyes wide and for once her reserve cast aside.
‘I don’t know who was more shocked, him or me. And then,’ she sobered, ‘my friend, my so-called friend, Evie, came round the corner. Gabe was already pushing me away. He must have been horrified that this girl was throwing herself at him. I mean, he dated sophisticated models, famous actors … people like Yumi. But Evie saw enough. And later I told her what I’d done. Well it was pretty obvious.’ Fiona’s face crumpled, the pain still as sharp as ever.
Setsuko winced. ‘Something bad.’
‘Evie told everyone at school what I’d done and that Gabe had rejected me. It was awful. Everyone laughed at me. A couple of the teachers were really disapproving. And for a few weeks I kept my head down hoping it would blow over, but then at the end of term, in the annual talent show, Evie with a couple of other girls sang the Abba song. This time everyone in the whole school knew.’
‘Oh no.’ Setsuko laid a cool hand on hers.
‘Instead of getting better, the girls just got worse. I couldn’t face going to school. I felt sick every day. Eventually I told my mum what had happened and … she was great.’ Except she hadn’t been, not really. No, her mum had made a melodrama out of her. Caused a fuss and said no daughter of hers was going back to that school. She could stay at home. And that had been the worst thing Fiona could have done. Isolated herself.
‘I didn’t go back to school. Didn’t take my exams. Didn’t go to university. Started spending more time online and blogging. And … well, that has been good.’ She shrugged her shoulders; it had taken a long time to be good. ‘And then a couple of years ago, my Instagram posts started to take off and I started going out and meeting people in real life instead of just online. I made some friends who are quite bossy and inspirational, who chivvy me into doing things, and it was my friend Avril who suggested I enter the competition to come here.’
Setsuko’s mouth dropped open into a pretty little ‘o’. ‘And you had no idea that you would meet Gabe san.’
‘No,’ said Fiona. ‘Although he doesn’t recognise me.’
‘Are you going to tell him?’
‘God no! That would be so embarrassing.’
‘He might have been flattered.’
‘Look at me. He associates with people like Yumi.’
‘But she is not very beautiful on the inside,’ said Setsuko with unexpected severity. ‘You have what we call shibui.’