I’ve never felt them look at me with anything but kind eyes. Even if I don’t believe in Him, their God is not an asshole. I guess. I don’t know. Maybe secretly I’m hoping I’m wrong, and that He’s somewhere in the atmosphere, and will answer Fee’s prayers.
She was still praying when we heard banging outside that sounded like it was coming from the trailer. Wind? The big black dog?
I got up and looked out the little window. The trees are bending in the wind, tumbleweeds blowing around—so many tumbleweeds at this time of year. A plastic garbage bin was rolling back and forth in Javier’s driveway, and just slammed up against some paint cans stacked neatly against the side of his house.
I’m like, “When the dog-beater leaves his trailer, I’ll find a way to get into Javier’s cabin and get us something to drink, Fee. Or I’ll break into the Airstream.”
“Think Javier has a water filter, Ror?”
Highly doubtful. “Maybe there’s something in his fridge.”
Fee was quiet for so long I turned to look at her.
“I’m thinking we need to turn ourselves in,” she finally said.
“No way. We wait for Javier. He’s coming back with help.”
“We can’t stay here all day. I seriously think I will die if I don’t get some water. I just wanna go home.”
“But turning ourselves in? We won’t be going home, Fee. We don’t have any friends out there. Our girls? You don’t seem to be getting that they’ve turned on us.”
“They’ll turn back. They’re family. And Mr. Tom’ll figure out the immigration stuff with my mom. She’s like his sister.”
We heard another noise outside. I jumped up again to look out the window and saw the blue tarp that blew off the Airstream trailer last night flapping our way like some huge drunken heron, then wrapping itself around the oak beside the shed. When that old drunk comes out of his trailer, he’ll come over here to get it. I’m very afraid of that man.
“I’m worried about the dude from the trailer. Javier says we shouldn’t let him see us. If he finds out we’re here, it’s over.”
“Then it’s over.”
“Don’t say that, Fee.”
“My mouth is so dry it hurts to talk. Let’s just be quiet, ‘kay? Let’s just sit here and think about what we’re gonna do next.”
Ouch. I’ve been so lonely here, and dying to talk to Fee, and she’s just shut me down. I’m going back online.
Breaking news? Fee’s purse—her little gold metal clutch—was recovered from the bombed-out bathroom. The media is making a big fucking deal of this, showing pics of Fee with the purse at her quinceañera last July (Tom Sharpe refused to buy Fee and Delaney new bags for the ball since they already had a closetful of them). Now everybody’s freaked about Fee’s purse and its undisclosed contents. What? Some melted lipstick? The pearl ring that was too small for her finger?
Fee is shocked that the metal clutch survived the bomb blast. I thought it was whatever, but she is so upset. Agitated. Like, I get that our purses are private, but come on. Given everything that’s going on, why does the idea that people are looking in her purse make her so fucking itchy?
“Who cares, Fee? Seriously. I don’t think you’re seeing the big picture here.”
“I am seeing the big picture. I care about my purse because it’s private.”
“Private? What the hell, Fee? What was in there?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“Rory…I don’t…I don’t understand any of what is going on. Jinny’s a Crusader and all, but she’s our friend. And Jagger…”
I said, “Jagger Jonze is a straight-up con man. And Jinny Hutsall is not our friend.”
“I don’t know who planted that bomb, or who put that nasty thing in your car, Ror, but is it possible Jinny and Jagger are being played too?”
Que the fuck pasa to my life? Fee is protecting Jinny Hutsall? Making excuses for Jagger Jonze? I know she’s sick and tired and thirsty, but really? It’s gotta be more than that. When I think about it, there’s been something off about Fee for the past few days.
I think it started the day before yesterday, when she went to Cerritos to see her abuela to get some family heirloom necklace she wanted to wear to the ball. It was the first time Fee was gonna be driving out there without her mom. She was going there and coming straight back—only take a few hours—and I offered to go with. I was actually dying to go with. I wanted