Lines Drawn (Drawn to You #2) - Ker Dukey Page 0,59
my heartbeat, and you played it so good until you abused them and they snapped.”
“Okay, okay. Antonia’s a little drunk.” Diane laughs and wrestles the mic from my hands.
“That was out of line,” she scolds me.
Pfft.
Flicking my hair over my shoulder, I sashay past everyone and call to Gavin. “Can you take me home?”
“I’ll get our stuff.”
This party was a bad idea for me. Going outside for air to wait for Gavin, I stumble a little down the steps and find Finlay steadying me by taking my arm. He must have followed me out.
“Don’t bother scolding me. Your mother already has.”
“You have a right to be angry at me, but don’t ruin your relationship with Gaby over it.”
I know he’s right. What I said was way out of line. I let my anger and resentment for how easy it is for them to just move on and leave the pain and heartache in their wake, seep out.
“You were, are, everything to me. Julie was the worst mistake I will ever make and I’ll regret ever knowing her my entire life because she cost me you. I can’t stand the thought of another man loving you, getting to be with you, making you smile, smelling that lotion you smother yourself in at bedtime. Knowing that another man will see you walking down the aisle on your wedding day, and see your belly grow with pregnancy.” He chokes, and tears burn and fall from my eyes.
“Too many times I’ve made tears leak from those beautiful eyes. If I could, if I knew how to mend everything I broke in you, I’d give my life to do it. But I know I can’t, so I’m moving away.”
“What?”
“I sold the business. I’m going to travel and figure some things out.”
“You sold the business?”
“It didn’t make me happy, and I know my dad would want that for me.”
“When?”
“When did I sell it?”
“When are you leaving?”
Finlay’s leaving. All I wanted was for him to be close, be in my arms, heart, life forever, and then the days and nights without him grew, and the hole in my chest stayed open and wounded, the storm clouds rolled in and rained down pain and grief and we couldn’t weather it.
I didn’t think anything could change the way I felt for him. I’ll always be searching for the love we shared in the perfect moments in another, and more than likely, never find it. But the hollow hole will grow smaller. I have to believe that.
“I’ll be back for the wedding.”
I nod like one of those darn bobble heads people stick on their dashboards.
“Antonia.” He cups my cheek. “We will always be family. I want you to live your life, find happiness, and rub it in my face.” He grins, and that dimple mocks me.
“Will you say goodbye before you go?”
“If you want me to.”
“I do.”
“Okay.”
The doors open and Gavin steps out from the restaurant with my coat and purse.
“Do you need a minute?”
“No,” Fin tells him, dropping his hand and jogging up the steps. He looks back briefly and then disappears behind the glass.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Take me home.”
The night has turned cold and the wind bites at my bare legs as we hurry inside.
There’s a piece of cardboard filling the gap where the window broke, and the wind is causing the corner to pull away and a whistle to hum through the lobby.
“When is that getting fixed?”
“Next week. It’s an eyesore. He should have got someone out sooner. I’ll give them a call tomorrow.”
“Are you not coming in?” I ask, as Gavin heads past my apartment.
He eyes me for a few beats and then bites his lip. “Suppose a night cap won’t hurt.”
I pour us both a glass of wine, kicking my heels off and plonking down on the couch. He stays standing, lurking near the kitchen.
“So, you and Finlay looked cosy.”
“There’s nothing between me and Finlay like that, or ever will be.”
“Really?”
There’s relief in his tone. Why?
“Why do men treat women like they’re disposable, Gav?”
“What?”
“Why are we so easy to hurt, use, break?”
“You were never that to Finlay.”
I drain the glass and stand. “I mean Julie. You all used her.”
He snorts. “She used us. She played the game, Antonia, using us and hopping from one to the next, collecting ammo and firing it to gain her advantage with Finlay. She loved him in her own fucked up way and would take whatever way she could get him.”
“Maybe she just wanted to feel wanted. I can relate to