Off Limits Attraction (The Heirs of Hansol #3) - Jayci Lee Page 0,57
she avoided Colin as much as humanly possible, her team continued to work with his to make the most of their partnership.
Every day she went to work and pushed herself to exhaustion, then came home and collapsed into a restless sleep. Every day. That was how she had survived the last few months.
In the rare moments that her guard came down and she remembered she’d lost Colin, pain too monstrous to describe came crashing into her, paralyzing her. But that just motivated her to fall deeper into character and become Princess Jihae down to her soul. It was a good thing. Everything she was—her face, body, hands and heart—all felt numb from the cold. She was frozen solid, and her true self remained locked behind the thick, icy walls.
The old Jihae had trusted, hoped and loved, but Princess Jihae knew better. Trust, hope and love only led to heartbreak. Her childish hope that her parents loved her despite their distance, censure and neglect... It was so stupid of her. Her dream that she could belong to someone and have that someone belong to her. To love and be loved. A complete joke. She was alone. She had always been and always would be. Alone.
“Hey, girlfriend. Do you have a minute?” June asked as she stepped into the office.
“For you. Anytime.” Jihae did her best to smile for her friend. Her confidante. But it felt foreign and awkward on her face. “Come have a sit.”
June held out a bag she had been hiding behind her back. “Ta-da.”
A rusty, unnatural laugh rattled from her. “What is it?”
“Nigiri, baby. One of the staff went to Little Tokyo for lunch and was sweet enough to bring some sushi back for us.”
Jihae’s stomach roiled, but she smiled her distant, stiff smile again. “How nice of them.”
“Jihae-ya,” June said, switching to Korean. “You really need to eat. You’re going to make yourself sick pushing yourself like this.”
“And since when do I not push myself?”
“I know. You always ask a lot of yourself, but not like this. I could tell you’re not sleeping well, and you’re wasting away. I hardly ever see you eat.”
“I eat.” When she remembered, which was seldom. “Okay, okay. Give me those nigiri. I’ll eat them.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty, for condescending to eat the gourmet sushi presented right in front of your face.”
June’s trademark sarcasm pulled free a real smile from Jihae. “Thank you for the sushi. And thank you for taking care of me.”
“You’re very welcome.” She smiled back, relief shining on her face.
They ate in companionable silence, June piping up to make random, funny comments here and there. The sushi surprisingly wasn’t dry and flavorless, like all the other food she’d attempted to eat. She could actually taste the fresh fish and the perfect texture of the rice, and it was delicious. A thin string of warmth penetrated her icy wall, and an impossible thought occurred to Jihae.
Maybe, just maybe, she would come out of this okay. Not whole and strong, but at least, as a living person. She had lost so much of herself from her father’s betrayal and from Colin’s... She’d lost Colin. She’d begun to think that she would never be herself again. That the real Jihae would never emerge from behind the wall of Princess Jihae.
But this could be the first step. The first real smile. The first enjoyable meal. The first time she enjoyed someone else’s company since her world had collapsed. Maybe from this point on, she could take little steps to find herself again. To find satisfaction in her work, and to find whatever happiness she could find in her life.
“Thank you, June,” she said with affection.
June’s eyes widened in surprise and she smiled warmly at Jihae. “My absolute pleasure.”
“We should do this again soon.”
“Lunch? Nah. The next step to rehabilitation is getting you drunk.”
“I like that idea. We could get plastered and go kill it at a karaoke.”
“Now you’re talking.” June paused and looked straight into Jihae’s eyes. “Welcome back, friend. I missed you so much.”
* * *
The wrap party was one occasion when Jihae couldn’t avoid Colin. They’d done the film together. He had as much right to be there as she did. She chose a loose, draping column dress to hide her weight loss and wore her hair down in thick, shiny waves. Possibly the only good thing that came out of the whole mess was that she didn’t give a damn about what her father thought anymore.