Limitless - Jim Kwik Page 0,39
challenge of learning new things can be fun, easier, and more enjoyable.
LIE NO. 6: THE CRITICISM OF OTHER PEOPLE MATTERS
Years ago I was a keynote speaker at an event hosted by Deepak Chopra. After my presentation, I sat down in the audience to watch the rest of the programming. To my surprise, a tall figure approached and loomed over me, and I looked up to see one of my favorite actors, Jim Carrey.
What followed was a deep conversation in the lobby about creativity. At one point he said, “Jim, I’m working on Dumb and Dumber 2, and I need to get really smart to be dumb and dumber.”
A few weeks later, we spent a day together at his home. During one of our breaks, while making guacamole (one of my favorite brain foods) in the kitchen, I asked, “Why do you do what you do? You’re such a unique actor, and you’re a little bit extreme on camera.” Jim said, “I act that way because I want to give the people who are watching permission to be themselves. The biggest travesty in the world is people preventing and limiting themselves from expressing who they really are because they’re afraid of what other people think.” This sentiment comes close to a religion for Jim; he calls it “freeing people from concern.” He elaborated on this during a commencement address at Maharishi International University:
The purpose of my life had always been to free people from concern. . . . How will you serve the world? What do they need that your talent can provide? That’s all you have to figure out. . . . The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is. Everything you gain in life will rot and fall apart, and all that will be left of you is what was in your heart.26
The fastest learners on the planet are children, and that’s partly because they don’t care what others think of them. They have no shame around failing. They will fall 300 times and get up 300 times in the course of learning to walk, and don’t feel embarrassed; they just know they want to walk. As we get older, we have a harder time staying this open. We might take a singing lesson, or maybe a coding class, and if we hit a flat note or make a mistake as we learn, we shrink or stop.
Part of being limitless is learning to let go of the fear of criticism from other people. History is littered with examples of those who overcame the negative opinions of the people around them. The Wright brothers accomplished their incredible feat of making a machine fly through the air—and initially received virtually no acclaim for it. When they returned home from their inaugural flight on December 17, 1903, they were not met with brass bands and cigars and streamers. They were met with doubt.
Their biographer, Fred Kelly, wrote that the neighbors had a hard time believing what had happened. Said one: “I know you boys are truthful and if you say you flew through the air in the machine, I believe you. But then, down there on the Carolina coast, you had special conditions to help you. Of course, you couldn’t do it anywhere else.”27
Hardly the enthusiastic response one would expect, right?
The papers and media didn’t report on their accomplishment, either. According to Kelly, noted scientists of the time had already explained why man couldn’t fly, so no newspaper reporter was willing to report on the story for fear of being humiliated.28 No editor wanted to print a story that directly refuted a respected scientist’s proclamations that flying was not scientifically possible. The lack of public recognition didn’t faze the Wright brothers. They knew they had more work to do and set about perfecting their flying machine, which eventually did earn the recognition that it deserved.
Most of us fear the opinions of other people when we simply think about trying something new. What the Wright’s story shows is that public imagination is woefully underwhelming, and people have a hard time reconciling what they believe is possible with what is actually happening.
Here’s the truth: Creating the life you want can be scary. But you know what’s scarier? Regret. One day we will take our final breaths and not one of other people’s opinions or your fears will matter. What will matter is how we lived. Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from. People will doubt you