a technical school and is doing very well, but that isn’t what I want. I may not know exactly what I want to do with my life, but it’s not that! I want to finish high school, and then Malaya and I are going to get jobs and save up for college. Then we will go off to a state school together and have a blast as college girls. That is what I want. Not this, I never asked for this. Why does my life have to be so hard? Why can’t my life be normal? Why couldn’t this happen to Amberly? She deserves it. Why couldn’t my father make her fall down the stairs? My dad is so selfish. I don’t even want to call him dad anymore.”
Lily realized no matter what direction her thoughts went, her father always seemed to follow. She knew she should think about it from his point of view and try to understand him, but she didn’t really want to. She was still too angry. She would forgive him eventually, but not now. She just wasn’t ready. It was funny how all her life she had dreamed of meeting him and talking with him, but now that she had met him, she didn’t want anything to do with him. Her imaginary vision of him was not the reality. Yes, he had a good heart and was well meaning, but in action he was anything but good. This was her view of him and deep inside of her she wished that she could change it but didn’t really know how. Her mother seemed to accept him regardless of what he had done, but she had been married to him, so maybe that made a difference.
“It doesn’t make that much of a difference to me,” her mother’s voice chimed in.
“You’re finally back! Then how can you see all the things he has done and still be so kind to him. There isn’t any hate or anger in your voice at all. I just don’t understand how you can do it.”
“Well, for one thing I know more of the details than you do, and so I am able to understand him better than you can. Even if I didn’t know those facts, I would still choose to forgive him and allow him a chance to maybe explain himself more fully.”
“Mother, you are a saint. Really you are. So is that what you want me to do? You want me to talk to him and forgive him, just like that,” she said to her mother imagining herself snapping her fingers at the word “that”.
“Talk to him, yes, but whether or not you forgive him is up to you.”
Lily was sure she wouldn’t want to forgive him no matter what he had to say, but she would talk to him if that is what her mother wanted.
“Alright, I’ll talk to him. Where is he?”
“I’m not entirely sure, but he better get here soon because you should be waking up in the next few hours.”
“Really?”
Lily wasn’t sure how she felt about this. All this time she was sure she would be in this state of blackness for days or maybe weeks. Now that she knew she was only hours away from going back to her life on earth, she wanted more time. She had wasted so much time being angry with her father when she could have finally been talking to him and getting to know him better. She should have spent more time with her mother, who always knew just what to say. Lily wished she had never sent her away. Visiting hours were almost over and she wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
“Lily, I know we don’t have much time left, but I just want you to know, that you can do it. You can do whatever life throws at you.”
“Something is wrong with me, isn’t there? I’m going to be a vegetable. You can say it mom. Just tell me the truth. I promise I won’t be angry. I just want to know.”
“I would tell you honey, but I can’t tell what I don’t know. I know that something is different about how your brain functions, but I don’t know what that is going to mean for you. We just have to wait for your dad to get here. He was looking into it.”
“Great, so something is wrong with me. My life is probably ruined. I’ll never have a normal life again and be like the others my