The Lightkeeper's Wife - By Karen Viggers Page 0,94

see her beau. But this year I’ve decided I need a man. To help with the heavy work.’

I swallow the tightness in my throat, waiting for her to tell me whether she thinks I’ll get the job, but she remains silent, and I force myself to speak. ‘I’d really like to go south with you,’ I say. ‘But only if you think it can work.’

‘If what can work?’

‘Us . . . and being together in the field.’

Emma lifts her head and laughs. The light of the flames flickers on her throat. ‘You want to try it?’ she asks. ‘Even after your marriage breakup?’

I nod, unable to speak.

‘And it’ll be all right this time?’

‘Yes.’

She studies me carefully. ‘How can you know?’ she asks.

I shrug and her face softens in the firelight.

‘You loved her, didn’t you?’ she says.

‘Yes.’

‘So why did you go?’

‘To pay off the mortgage.’

Emma stabs at the coals with a stick and stands up. ‘We all think we’re safe,’ she says quietly. ‘But all of us are vulnerable.’ She tosses the stick into the fire. ‘Let’s go to bed.’

PART III

Disintegration

22

‘The scouts are here!’ Leon burst through the door with a blast of fresh air, enthusiasm written all over his face.

Mary was on the couch, folded up in her rug. She was slow and bleary-eyed after a bad night; Jacinta and Alex had stayed over again and she’d relinquished two of her pillows. Unable to prop herself up she’d had no rest, struggling to breathe through fluid-filled lungs. They left early to catch the ferry back to Kettering and it was a relief to collapse on the couch, drifting in and out of weary slumber.

She peered blurrily up at Leon, trying to look responsive.

‘Are you ready?’ he asked.

She shook her head. ‘I don’t know what I’m going to say.’

He brushed away her reluctance. ‘You’ll think of something. And they’re looking forward to it. I’ve told them all about you.’

‘I can’t do it. I’m too tired.’

He continued as if he hadn’t heard her. ‘Just think! You could be sitting in a hospital bed accepting cups of tea from grumpy nurses. But instead, here you are, still giving public speeches.’

His attempt at humour failed to move her. ‘When you put it that way, a hospital bed sounds blissful.’

‘You’ll be fine. Now, where’s your coat?’

While Leon gathered her things, Mary hunched beneath her blanket and gazed miserably out the window. Curtains of rain blotted the cliffs, and the bay was flat and featureless, obscured by drizzle. Wind gusted under the eaves and there were whitecaps riding angrily in to shore. It was silly to think she could go out there. But Leon would not be persuaded. She supposed she should capitalise on this opportunity to convince him to take her part way up East Cloudy Head.

He came back with her scarf. ‘I see you’ve written a letter.’

She jolted. ‘What letter?’

‘The one on your bedside table. Do you want me to put a stamp on it and post it for you? I’ll be going by the post office later today.’

‘You’ll do no such thing,’ she snapped.

His face fell. ‘I was only trying to help.’

‘It’s not help. It’s interference,’ she said. She knew she was over-reacting but his intrusion was dangerous. If he saw who that letter was addressed to, he might deliver it. And what then? Her whole life could come tumbling down.

Huffily, she scrambled to her feet and shuffled into the bedroom. How could she have left the letter somewhere so obvious? She’d had it out this morning, ready to tear it up and burn it, but she’d put it down while she made her bed and had forgotten it. Now she swung back to see if Leon was watching. No, he was out of sight. She grasped the envelope, her hands shaking. Where to put it? Nobody must find it. Dear God, how many times had she hidden this thing, only to lose it for a day? This time she must remember where she concealed it.

She folded it into her nightgown and tucked it beneath her pillow. It would fall out when she readied herself for bed tonight. She couldn’t possibly miss it.

Back in the living room, she sat down again. ‘Please, Leon, I’m in no state for public lectures. Can we just drive down and say hello?’

He looked at her, and she knew he wouldn’t relent. ‘We have a deal,’ he said. ‘And it won’t take long.’ He found her coat on a hook behind the door. ‘Here, let’s put this on.