out. They all want me to settle down, and I could see it in their eyes tonight. They believe that’s where I’m headed with Jo.
Only, I’m not sure I’m ready to settle down. I’m not sure I’ve lived my life to the fullest and become everything I was meant to be. How can I commit my life to just one woman when I’m not even sure of who I am or what I want from my life? If I’m not sure I deserve someone like her?
Which is when my dad finally decides to sit down beside me. He’s had a lot to drink and he sort of stumbles to the picnic table, holding himself upright as he clasps the edge of the wood.
“Well, son, another year gone by,” he says. “Happy birthday.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I say, but my jaw tenses. I know he hasn’t come to say nice things. I know he’s going to push me, and I’m not sure I’m in the mood for it.
“That’s one heck of a girl you’ve got there,” he says. “Don’t screw it up.”
“Come on, Dad, don’t do this.”
“Do what?” he asks, rearing back like he can’t imagine what I’m talking about. “Colton, you know as well as I do that nothing that good stays in your life for very long. I’m just saying you might want to be careful. You’ve got someone really special, and I’d hate to see you mess things up with her. She seems to truly care about you.”
“I care about her, too,” I say.
“I’m sure you do. But we both know that you have a tendency to sabotage anything that seems too good,” he says. “That’s why you keep working at jobs like you do, moving from bar to bar without thought about what it means to have a real career. If you really want to hold onto a girl like that, you’ve got to start thinking about your future.”
“I like my job, Dad. How many times do I have to tell you that?”
“Of course you like your job,” he says. “You get to stay up late, sleep in every day, be your normal irresponsible self every day of your life. Who wouldn’t like that? But what happens when you’ve got more mouths to feed? When you’ve got to worry about putting a roof over your head? You can’t count on tips your whole life, Colton. It’s time to grow up.”
I bristle, my hands tightening around the empty bottle in my hand. Why does he always have to do this? Make me feel like I’m nothing. Like nothing I do is ever good enough.
And maybe it isn’t. Maybe I’m no good for Jo or Rob. Maybe I’ll never be good enough.
When the door to the trailer opens and Jo steps out, I stand up, ready to go and be done with this evening. I want to get off this property and be as far away from my father as I can right now.
And the thing is, I know he means well. He truly thinks he’s giving me an inspirational talk about what it means to be a man. But what he never realizes is that I’m doing the best I can. I’m just being me, and for once, I’d love for that to be enough.
“You ready?” I ask as Jo walks over.
She nods. “Sure,” she says. “Goodnight, Mr. Tucker.”
“Goodnight, beautiful girl,” Dad says, kissing her on the cheek. “You come by and visit us again, now, you hear?”
“I will,” she says with a laugh.
I take her hand in mine and wave goodbye to my family not feeling like sticking around to give everyone hugs. Most of my sisters and their husbands are carrying sleepy children back home, anyway, their hands and bellies full.
We get in the truck, and Jo slides up next to me, smiling. But my earlier happiness is gone, clouded by my father’s words. His doubts.
“Where to next?” she asks.
“I thought we’d just go home,” I say. “I’m kind of tired, to be honest.”
“Oh,” she says, her lips turning downward in disappointment. “I have a gift for you in the back. Can we stop somewhere for just a minute? Maybe the beach? It won’t take long.”
“Sure,” I say.
I drive us to a spot overlooking the water and back up so that we can sit on the tailgate and stare out at the ocean. We both get out, and I pull the tailgate down.
Jo pulls a blanket off the hidden package in the back, but it’s not a wrapped