mend you. I just don’t know you very well. The only thing I’m certain of is how my chest hurts every time you cry and I don’t want a pretty girl like you to cry. I want to know that I can make you smile.”
I’m the one that moves his hair off his handsome face this time; it’s an unconscious act, but we both feel the intimacy of my gesture. We are a fucked-up pair, the two of us. When I tuck his blond lock behind his ear, he closes his eyes like a puppy getting attention from his owner. I suddenly have this pang in my chest, a feeling I can’t even explain. No fucking feelings, Sara. I just need to let this beautiful stranger fuck me and break the hold Jeff has had on me my whole adult life.
I’ve never summoned The Sara in a real-life situation; I’ve just lied about her countless times. However, I need her now and she needs to emerge. “Liam, could you and I fuck, please?” His eyes spring open and I can see him attempt to figure out if this is a trap or a joke. “Relax, there’s no catch. This will be just between us. You have nothing to worry about because no one will ever know. I need you to do this, it’s important to me.” I aim to be semi-businesslike with my proposition because I need a willing participant. He, however, doesn’t take me very seriously and starts cracking up. I mean, full-on laughing with his mouth open and all. Great, this is the first man besides Jeff that I truly want a sexual relationship with and he laughs at me. “I can be on my stomach or my side, you don’t have to see my face. I just need for us to do this.” I need this!
He stops laughing and shakes his head from side to side. “This Jeffery fucker did a real number on you! Why in bloody hell wouldn’t I want to see your beautiful face if we were to have sex?” he questions. I can’t tell if he’s mad or disgusted with me. “I’m not interested in banging a faceless girl or having you pretend I’m someone else. I’m lucid and you’re not plastered; therefore, I, Liam, want to fuck you, Sara, so help me God.”
“Is that the vow for fucking these days?” I ask with a smirk.
“Yes, my cock just wrote you a vow to make it official, isn’t that romantic?”
“No, it’s most definitely not romantic, but I’m not looking for romance and neither are you. It seems we both need to get laid for different reasons. I’m a realist and I’m cool with that.” I truly believe it.
“Well, I’m not! Yes, it would be fantastic to bang and I very much find you beautiful and sexy, but don’t you find it a bit odd that I’ve been intimate with your best mate? I find it a bit odd that you probably want to pretend that I’m this Jeffery bloke. I prefer women calling my name when I fuck them. Sorry, my ego can’t take you moaning out his name. Just bloody thinking about it made me go soft. Here, feel.” He takes my hand and places it on his semi-hard cock. He’s holding my hand over his jeans as I mold my fingers around his “knob” as he keeps referring to it.
This feels wrong on so many levels, and yet my fingers have no shame in helping themselves to a feel and are already working this man into a full straining hard on. I can see him fight to keep those clear blue eyes focused and open.
“Sara, please promise to not pretend I’m someone else when we do this.” He cups my face and I feel myself completely melting. He gets closer and says right into my mouth, “Don’t stop looking at me. I’m going to kiss you now and I just can’t chance you closing your eyes and imagining I’m him.”
“I promise I won’t. I need this with you, Liam. I hope you won’t fantasize that I’m Emily, either. We must only fuck each other and not ghosts. Deal?”
He nods as he brings his lips to mine for a kiss. I’ve never kissed anybody with my eyes open before, and it feels awkward at first being this close to someone, especially someone I just met. It’s weird, different, and so much more intimate than any kiss I’ve ever had. I still have