the counter types and then sweetly answers, “Oh, yes, your friend is waiting at your suite. We’ve sent him up about half an hour ago.”
My heart rate picks up as a cold chill passes through my body. How could I have stayed down at the bar for so long? Then I think back to the two disasters I got distracted by and roll my eyes at how amateurish I’ve handled this whole fucked-up evening. I run quickly to the elevator to finally go meet Will “The Problem” Knight.
As I exit the elevator into the lavish foyer of my suite, common sense finally rears its head. This guy Will could be dangerous. I know nothing about him except that he’s trying to avenge his sister’s suicide through the people I love most in this world. When he sees me instead of Em, he won’t be a happy camper. I need to come up with a plan of action, pronto. The truth is, if he hurts me, no one will even know he did it because Jeff’s name is on the record for visiting me. I’ve erased all our earlier text messages… I’m screwed; there is zero evidence that Will and I ever met.
“Sara! Where have you been?” I’m startled as I look to the left and at the top of the stairs where his voice is coming from. “I’ve been going crazy. Why aren’t you answering your phone?” he barks my way.
I look at Jeff who’s standing right there, looking at me as if he’s right where he belongs. As if he has the right to question my whereabouts. My heart clenches and bleeds as I look at him, wishing that he did have the right to question me. I don’t want to act strong anymore. We can’t keep doing this! I want him, I need him and yet he’s not mine to want or need. I made decisions that I had no right making, and I’ve been paying the consequences ever since. I close my eyes, drop my head and belt out a wail at how much I want to rewind and be able to redo it all over again.
He is at my side instantly as I sink to the floor and try to forget everything. How do I stop this…us…him and me? He should be mine, he’s already the reason I open my eyes each day. How can I deny myself the only thing I’ve ever wanted?
“Baby, come on, don’t do this. I don’t want to see you cry,” he whispers as he lifts me off the ground and walks us up the stairs to my bedroom. “I called Gavin when I couldn’t reach you for hours and my key to your place wouldn’t work. I was worried, Sara, and rightfully so.” He lays me down on the big bed, props a few pillows behind my head, removes my shoes, and kisses the top of my feet before covering my legs with a throw. He walks over to the under-counter beverage fridge and brings me a bottle of water.
I’ve known this perfect man for fifteen years, and in those fifteen years, nothing between us has changed. He always took care of me, even when he wasn’t supposed to. Even when I wasn’t his problem or his business, he always made sure I knew just what I meant to him. If it weren’t for me, he would probably just go on living a perfectly normal life with his wife, whom he’s known even before we met. I’ve always pretended that he’s the one that ruined my life, but the reality is, I’ve ruined his. I’ve done more damage to him and his family than he ever did to me. Why can’t we let each other go? What is it about us that nothing or no one can stop us from loving one another?
“Drink, calm down, and talk to me. I still don’t understand for the life of me why you wouldn’t call me, or come to me! Didn’t you know he sold the place and that you’d have to evacuate?” he asks with confusion and anger mixed in his harsh tone. If he only knew it took me almost every shred of willpower to not dial his number. Every day I try to stop being his problem. We made a mistake that has turned into a lifelong syndrome that neither one of us knows how to cure.
I nod my head. I’m too tired to talk to him or anybody else.