husband, and brother-in-law love their wives. We couldn’t be more opposite on our views about love and marriage. I’ve seen my parents in action so I know firsthand that fairytale love stories are exactly that, they’re fairy tales that our parents tell us until we know better. Knowing Emily and her perspective on relationships I understand how broken she got when she saw Louis walk out of that hotel with another woman. It was nothing she could’ve ever imagined, and rightfully so. Just like she would never think that her best friend is the world’s best liar.
“Em, babes, I’m still confused about what happened in St. Lucia, so I need you to give me the details and then we’ll figure out how to deal.” I look over at the window behind where Emily is laying down and I think to myself, where is he? He already texted me his daily I love you text, is he thinking of me right now? Does he know that I’m not okay?
“So, I should probably start by telling you how I got to St. Lucia in the first place,” Emily finally says to me. “This conversation is long overdue, but I first need for you to understand how it all happened. The morning before I ran away, I was at The Plaza with Jenna, and Louis and I had already been fighting for weeks. We hadn’t made love in months. He was the biggest dick to me that morning after I told him about a bad dream I had, so I think you get the picture of my overall frame of mind that day. Then I saw him walk out of the elevator with a beautiful woman by his side and I had a complete and utter meltdown. I don’t remember leaving Jenna, walking home, or how I even got home; it’s just one big mush in my head. I remember sitting in my closet thinking that my world was over—lights out, bye-bye. How could I live knowing that Louis, my Louis, was somewhere loving another woman, touching her, kissing her, making love to her? How could I go on when he is my whole heart, not just half my heart? Sara, I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to get hit by a car and just stop the pain. We haven’t been intimate in months. Us! Can you imagine? The man who couldn’t let me pass him by without somehow touching me, the man who sent me at least four messages and texts a day telling me what he wants to do to me once he gets home, that same man just checked out and slowly started to withdraw from any intimacy with me whatsoever.” She takes a deep breath and I see the tears running down her face. I get up off my couch and come lie next to her, nestling her close to me. She takes a few more deep breaths and continues.
“I couldn’t tell Jenna, I’ve never involved anybody in our personal issues. I mean, you know how it is, married couples fight and then they make up and everything goes back to normal. Why involve more people for no reason? I didn’t say anything to her or Mike because they were happy, they just had a baby. You know how much my parents love Louis; I didn’t feel right complaining to them and making them worry. I truly believed he was too busy at work to make time for me. You and I weren’t talking, who could I have told about this? I was completely alone.”
I was a selfish bitch when I stopped talking to Em after Gavin and I got married. She was the only one smart enough to question our phony relationship and I was too scared she’d know the truth and ruin my master plan. Those were the hardest years of my life. And now, hearing her tell me that she had no one to turn to is gut wrenching. I didn’t think it was possible, but I’m even more disgusted with myself.
“All I remember is crying for hours and then I decided that I needed to get my shit together. I knew that I needed some alone time to clear my head and fight through the paralyzing fear of ending up alone and without him. I’m a mother, I have kids to worry about, and whether my husband decided to find a new lover or a new wife, I still needed to be Rose and