the best intentions. Em, I promise you I always felt loved and adored by him…it’s only when he went back home to his family that I felt alone and unwanted. He thought he was doing the right thing by accepting a job and standing by a sick girl. He didn’t fathom that his chivalrous choice would jeopardize our future. The problem was, as he was trying to do the right thing and be a good guy, I believe he fell in love with her, too. She’s a good girl and God knows she’s been through hell. I know when we’re together, he feels guilty for loving her enough not to leave her and cause her more pain.”
“But what about you?” Emily says in a small voice. “Doesn’t he love you enough to stop hurting you? He has his family—with your help—and now he needs to love you enough to let you start your own family. He needs to love you enough to let you go! I want you to know what it’s like to hold your own children in your arms. I don’t want you living your life by watching a home from the outside. You are kind, beautiful and smart and any child would be lucky to have you as their mother. You need to start again. A blank page with no secrets, no lies, no Jeffery, just Sara!”
“We Belong” by Pat Benatar
Unburdening my conscience and telling Emily everything feels fucking exhilarating! The last twenty-four hours have turned my whole life upside down and yet it’s the most right my life has ever been. I thought she would hate me, I was sure she would spit in my face and cuss me out and tell me that she’s embarrassed to even know me. But Emily is right here, holding my hand and supporting me, loving me, after I’ve done nothing but lie to her. The images of my kids dance around in my head and it doesn’t hurt so much now, knowing I can talk about them and share them with Em without her judging me. I should probably go and offer a sacrifice somewhere to thank whoever or whatever decided that I deserve to have her in my life. Having her near is everything.
Liam’s eyes and beautiful smile keep coming into view and I physically miss his presence, as ridiculous as that may sound. I wish he were still here. I am beyond thankful I got the chance to disclose the truth to Emily first, but I wish he’d given me the opportunity to tell him everything as well. He’s the only man besides Jeffery I’ve ever had this unexplainable bond with. But he left me, ran away like I knew he would. I don’t even blame him. I wouldn’t wish me and my problems on anybody, let alone a nice guy like him. He has enough of his own issues to work through, he doesn’t need to try and understand mine.
Emily is still looking through my phone at all the pictures I’ve collected over the years of Juliet and Jacob. She finally tears her eyes away from the screen and pins me down with her baby blues, saying, “William Knight… Start talking.”
I’m scared because I can’t tell if she’s mad or curious or both. “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know! But, promise to not go ape shit or try to murder me until I finish telling you everything.”
She begrudgingly nods. The poor girl knew she signed up for crazy the day she agreed to be my best friend. That’s it, I promise from now on to always tell her everything, good or bad, she can handle it.
“The truth is, I can’t stop thinking about that damn British fool, Em. It all started by me trying to do the right thing, as usual, and get rid of him for you. At first, it was all about you and him and his feelings for you, and I don’t know how and when, but something just shifted and started happening between us. You must believe that my only agenda was to get him out of your lives. I didn’t want him to try and come between you and Louis, not that he could. You see, I had a whole plan worked out to get him to talk to me about what happened that night with you. And once he revealed what you and I wanted to know, I was hoping to convince him to go back to wherever