The Librarian of Boone's Hollow - Kim Vogel Sawyer Page 0,125
that. Pap, he wouldn’ta let her.”
Two more tears went rolling. And Bettina knew without a doubt this lady wasn’t no witch. Everybody knew witches were too dried up to shed tears. Pap’d been wrong.
“You’re right that your pap didn’t want her seein’ me. That’s why when you got big enough to put words together, she quit comin’. She was scared if you said where she’d been, there’d be trouble. But you got big enough to go to school. When you was at the schoolhouse an’ your pap was at work, she’d come. Her an’ me, we made blueberry jam together.”
More goose bumps popped up, but these were a different kind. She whispered, “Blueberries…”
Nanny Fay unfolded her hands and touched Bettina’s wrist with one finger. Hardly a touch at all, like a butterfly lighting, but it made Bettina go warm all over. “When I seen them bruises on you yesterday, I remembered your maw. I remembered her bruises. I remembered her mama wasn’t the only one who hurt her. An’ I knew I had to tell you somethin’.”
Without even meaning to, Bettina leaned closer to the woman. “Tell me what?”
“You’re loved, Bettina. You’re loved by God, who wants to be your Father. You’re loved by the Savior, who wants to forgive your sins. I know you’re huntin’ for love. I’ve seen you lookin’ for it, tryin’ to earn it from your pap, tryin’ to coax it out o’ Emmett. An’, honey, you don’t gotta keep earnin’ or coaxin’. All you gotta do is look to heaven an’ ask Jesus for it, an’ it’ll be yours.”
Bettina stared into Nanny Fay’s teary eyes. Something glowed in there. Something Bettina hadn’t seen in four years…love. Then she couldn’t see very good anymore because her own eyes were all watery.
She sniffed and rubbed her nose. “Ain’t no way God loves me. Not like He did Maw. Or He does Emmett or…or Addie.” Or maybe even Nanny Fay. “I’m too stupid an’ clumsy. I ain’t worth—”
“You’re worth everything to God, Bettina, an’ don’t you forget it. He wove you together in your maw’s womb, an’ in His eyes you are wonderfully made. You don’t have to believe me. You can see it in the Bible your own self.”
Bettina hung her head. She could look at the words, but they wouldn’t say nothing to her. They never had.
A warm hand cupped her chin and lifted her face. Her gaze met Nanny Fay’s tender smile. “Honey, I know you have the same trouble your maw did. Letters, they didn’t make no sense to her. But I read those words to her when she was a little thing, an’ she believed ’em. I want you to believe ’em, too.”
Bettina swallowed. She nodded.
“An’ somethin’ else. Your maw’s gone, but a part o’ her is livin’, an’ if I can, I wanna help her little gal.” Nanny Fay’s hand dropped away. “If you’ll let me.”
Bettina wrapped her arms over her middle. Her stomach was jumping like a whole creek full of frogs was inside there. “Whadda you wanna do?”
“You shouldn’t stay with somebody who hurts you. I got room in my cabin. I want you to move in with me. I ain’t young anymore, an’ I don’t know how long I got ’til the Lord calls me home. I don’t got children to pass my cabin an’ plunder to, but I loved your maw—loved her like she was my own little gal—an’ I’d like you to have those things when I’m put in the ground.”
Bettina’s mouth fell open. “Why would you go an’ give me your cabin? I never did nothin’ nice to you. Never really talked to you or…or…” She hung her head. If she’d known Nanny Fay had been so good to Maw, would she have treated the old lady better? Shame fell over her. No. She wouldn’t have risked having the townsfolk look at her the way they looked at Nanny Fay. The way Pap looked at her, like she wasn’t even worth seeing.
Nanny Fay put her hand on Bettina’s arm. “I want you to have it, Bettina.”
Bettina hunched her shoulders so tight she thought she might close up like a pill bug. “I don’t deserve you bein’ nice to me.”
“I don’t deserve God bein’ nice to me, but He is. He sent me your maw when I was needin’ a child to love. He’s give me lots o’ grace. Least I can do is show grace to you.”
Bettina lifted her head. “What’s that mean—grace?”