about Beth, and it meant so much to me that you did, so I… wanted to tell you a little bit more about me. About my past. If you wanted to know.”
Diesel blinked. “Is that a trick question? Parrish, I always want to know about you, I just never felt like I could ask.”
I laughed a little. “Well, you can. You can ask me anything, anytime. But, um.” I rubbed my hands together in my lap. “Gosh, I don’t know where to begin, exactly.”
Diesel laid one large, tattooed hand over mine. “Anywhere you like is fine. There’s no rush.”
I nodded. God, life was so much better with this man by my side. “I dated someone pretty seriously a couple of years ago,” I blurted. “We were engaged, actually.”
“Okay. Wow.” Diesel frowned. “Since it didn’t happen, I’ll automatically assume that he’s an idiot.”
I laughed again. “No. I mean, yes. I mean, he’s an attorney, so he’s very intelligent and driven. Maybe a little too driven. We met at an event for Clover House, one of my aunt Marnie’s favorite kids’ charities back in Nashville, which puts on a kinda carnival with pony rides, and animals to pet, and face painting, and a couple of athletes who sign autographs and take pictures, that kind of thing. He was cute, in a way. Very buttoned-up. Very status conscious.”
“Really? He doesn’t sound like your type at all.”
My mouth lifted up in a half-smile, and I pressed my lips to Diesel’s jaw. “He wasn’t.”
In fact, looking at the man in front of me now, I couldn’t imagine how I’d ever found Payne even remotely attractive, either in appearance or personality. It was like I’d looked at a moth and thought he was a butterfly… until the real thing came along, a hundred times rarer and more special.
“Anyway, Payne had been married before, to a woman he claimed was a terrible selfish cow. They had two boys together, and the youngest was just an infant. He was trying hard to get primary custody of his sons, but his ex was making it impossible because Natasha had money and connections Payne didn’t have. He didn’t want his kids to grow up in a loveless home. So a couple months after we started dating… he asked me to help him get custody.”
“Oh, baby, no.” Diesel’s voice was filled with dread, like he could predict what was coming. Probably because he could, sort of.
“Oh, yes.” I cleared my throat. “He knew it was rushing things for us to get engaged, he said, but he loved me. He wanted us to be together—to raise the boys as a family—and he knew he’d have a much stronger case if I were on his side. My character was unassailable, right? So boring and basic, I didn’t even have a parking ticket to my name.”
Diesel groaned, and I pulled my hands from his so I could rub my damp palms against my thighs.
“Even after just a few weeks, I loved those boys so much, of course I said yes… even though I had some misgivings. Even though I knew it was moving too fast. Even though I wasn’t sure I really loved Payne. And at first, it was great. Family picnics. Even a trip to Gatlinburg to see the Stampede with Beau and Marnie once. He wanted me to buy us a house—in his name, of course, to strengthen his case—but even I couldn’t make myself go that far.”
“Parrish, I can’t believe—”
“That I was such an idiot?” I smiled ruefully. “Me neither, but I was. I jumped in with two feet and two arms. I’d always wanted a family, you know? So when diapers needed changing, I changed them. Heck, I researched the best variety for the baby’s sensitive skin and bought them in bulk. I felt so privileged to get to be a part of the boys’ lives, that when Payne asked me to start handling the preschool drop-offs in the mornings, of course I said yes. It just made sense, because it was on my way to work. And when I had to pick them up in the evenings, that made sense too, because Payne’s schedule wasn’t nearly as flexible as mine. And when he had to work late and needed someone to put the boys to bed… of course I didn’t mind. I mean, this was my family, right? It’s not babysitting when they’re your—” My voice cracked a little, and I forced myself to continue “—your own kids.”