Letting Go (Triple Eight Ranch) - By Mary Beth Lee Page 0,35
the bunkhouse she was sharing with Tammy Jo and they’d leave as soon as possible, but all she wanted was to sit in his truck and kiss him sweetly and pretend her past didn’t exist.
A zap of longing swept through her and she knew this was so wrong.
She pushed away from him and leaned against the truck’s door. “You can’t help yourself.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You want to save me. It’s part of what makes you tick. But Jed, I don’t want anyone saving me. I’m working hard to save myself. It’s got to be that way.”
Jed laughed, and she heard a roughness that hadn’t been there earlier.
“You’re confused, Clarissa. That kiss wasn’t me trying to save you. That was something else entirely. Maybe later we can talk about what it was.”
Later. He really still wanted to see her, to be part of her life. Even knowing….
“Jed. I think maybe…”
“Maybe you should just stop thinking so much,” he interrupted. “Maybe you just need to let go and let God.”
So easy for him to say.
“I can’t,” she said. “I want to. You have no idea how much I want to. But I’m not even sure He exists.”
Jed smiled at that. Strange response. Then he restarted the truck. “It’s okay, Clarissa. Because here’s the deal. God doesn’t need you to be sure of Him to exist. If you want to spend all your time thinking, think about that.”
Clarissa wished it were that easy. Jed’s phone buzzed, and he looked puzzled as he answered.
“Hey Momma,” he said, and Clarissa wondered what it would be like to have such an easy relationship with a parent. With Tammy Jo at the ranch maybe they’d forge some kind of mother-daughter bond.
“I’m with her now,” Jed said, suddenly concerned. “We’re on our way.”
‘What’s wrong?” Clarissa asked when he hung up the phone.
“Your mother’s in the hospital. It’s bad.”
Chapter Nine
Clarissa’s heart dropped and then she remembered this was Tammy Jo they were talking about.
“It’s not bad, Jed. It’s business,” she said as she climbed in his truck.
“Whatever it is, my parents called and said you better get to the hospital quick.”
Clarissa couldn’t believe she’d almost let herself be lulled into a sense of security where her mother was concerned. Silly girl. Nothing was going to change Tammy Jo. The Dillons and Stearns, Oklahoma were the perfect con. If her mother thought she’d stand by and let that happen, she had another think coming.
“I’m going to need you to take your family and leave for a while when we get there, Jed,” she said. “Tammy Jo and I need to talk.
He didn’t argue with her, didn’t try to reason with her or use his life experiences to challenge her surety.
Maybe he’d listened to her earlier. Maybe he understood nothing in their lives meshed. That for every good thing in his world, she’d done or been part of or lived through something equally bad.
“I don’t think…”
And then again, maybe he didn’t understand at all.
“Look, Jed,” Clarissa said. “You’re a great guy. But this is something you can’t begin to understand.”
“I don’t think you ought to make assumptions. They can end up leading to an awful lot of heartbreak.”
“Again, you have no idea how good Tammy Jo is at swindling people out of their hard earned livings. Just trust me here, okay?”
He looked forward, a frown marring his face, his jaw working in an effort to do as she asked.
He didn’t try talking to her the rest of the trip to Shawnee, and Clarissa told herself she liked that just fine.
Scenes from her life with her mother played through her mind as they closed in on the small hospital, and Clarissa wondered why on earth she hadn’t packed her mother’s suitcase and brought it along with. Lord knew she wasn’t going to let Tammy Jo set foot on the Triple Eight again.
Jed parked the truck in a visitor’s spot, and Clarissa climbed out without waiting for him. Warm wind brushed her hair off her face and the sky held a tinge of red from a dust storm moving their direction. Behind her she heard Jed’s booted feet closing the gap between them.
“Remember what I said, Jed. I’ll need a few minutes alone with her.”
He didn’t answer, just strode beside her as they made their way through the automatic door and to the elevator. The hospital scent from her memories clashed with this one. A different kind of cleaner, she supposed. Cold anger kept her moving forward. Once they were inside the