into a leopard I would have run for the hills and never come back. How did you feel about the entire leopard business?”
“I was jealous. I wanted to be like them. The brotherhood, you know. They were so close and I always felt like an outsider,” Saria admitted. “We used to talk about that, remember?”
Bijou shook her head. “You were crazy about your brothers. You thought they walked on water. You never complained about them.”
“I didn’t?” Saria added, as she added panfried trout to her plate.
Bijou took a hot beignet. “The first thing I did when I came back home was go to the Café Du Monde and order coffee and beignets. I missed them so much.” She took a bite. “These are wonderful, Saria. You always were such a good cook. I guess all that cooking for your pere really helped. I’m not so good. We had a chef—well, several. Mostly women, and believe me, they didn’t want me in their kitchen.”
“It should have been your kitchen.” Saria was indignant on her behalf.
Bijou shrugged. “That satisfaction was in knowin’ they wouldn’t last very long. Bodrie would get tired of havin’ sex with them and the way they would cling to him. He’d fire them and hire the next pretty face.” She added the trout to her plate as well. “I took a cookin’ class once. It was a disaster. I’ll have to try some of your recipes when I get in my own place.”
Saria pressed her lips together for a moment, clearly contemplating how to word her next sentence, putting Bijou on alert. “You know my brother isn’t goin’ to let you out of his sight. He’ll be expecting to share your place or have you move in with him.”
Bijou forced a casual shrug. “Clearly we’re not on the same page about that. Wild sex might be fun, Saria, but it will never be enough for me. I want a man to look at me and love me the way Drake does you. I’ve waited a long time for that. I can’t help it if his leopard is crazy about mine and that’s why he’s so physically attracted to me.”
Saria frowned, stopping with a forkful of eggs halfway to her mouth. “That’s not why he’s attracted to you. Where would you get an insane notion like that?”
“Straight out of his mouth,” Bijou said, forcing herself to admit the truth and trying not to choke on the words. She picked up her coffee cup and took a sip just to give herself time to control the tears burning behind her eyelids. Damn Remy anyway for turning her into a weepy female.
“No way did he say that!”
Bijou nodded slowly. “He definitely told me last night, that it was all about the leopards and our uninhibited and wild and crazy sex was just an added bonus.” She blinked rapidly and looked down into the coffee cup. Luckily, Saria made it strong. She preferred tea in the afternoons, but when she first woke up, nothing tasted better than Cajun coffee.
“My brother is an idiot. I love him, and in most things, he’s right, but when it comes to women, I’m afraid he needs a good smack in the head.”
Bijou forced another shrug. “He can’ help the way he feels. And I can’ help the way I do. The leopards are just goin’ to have to get over it.”
“Mmm, sweetie, they won’t get over it. They bond lifetime after lifetime. They seek each other out. If you think Remy is goin’ to let you go easily, you’ve got another think comin’.”
“I don’ care,” Bijou said, lifting her chin stubbornly. “I’m not goin’ to be his sex toy. I’m not.”
“Are you sayin’ you don’ have feelings for him?” Saria asked, curiosity in her voice.
“He’s my biggest fantasy. He always has been. Maybe I even came back here to see if he was the man I always thought he was. No one else ever lived up to him, but it doesn’t matter how I feel. Not now. I’m not goin’ to play second fiddle to a leopard.”
“It isn’t like that,” Saria denied.
“Not for you, because Drake actually loves you. I was foolin’ myself that a man like Remy would fall in love with me.”
“And why wouldn’t he?” Saria demanded.
“He knows exactly who he is and what he wants,” Bijou said. “The truth is, I’m just findin’ that out about myself. It’s taken me this long just to realize I don’ want to tour or play huge