Legacy of Blood - By J. L. McCoy Page 0,56
do. I’m here if you want to talk but I won’t hold my breath. Take care of yourself, Skye. I miss you.”
My hands were shaking hard by the time I finished reading. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I had utterly crushed Jameson and I felt so guilty that he had been having a hard time on the road because of me. He didn’t deserve that; he deserved to be happy and carefree. He deserved to enjoy his first tour experience, not to be caught up in a bad episode of ‘My So Called Shitty Life’. Jameson deserved someone who would love him fully and who would cherish all the wonderful things he had to give. I felt too damaged, too broken now. I wasn’t the same person now as I was last week or even last month. A lot of things had changed for me and Jameson deserved better than what little I could offer him.
My voicemail reminder chimed again so I pressed ‘1’ and waited for the voicemails to play.
“You have six new messages.”
“Message one. Wednesday at 2:14am: My hand to God, I didn’t mean to/After all of what we’ve been through/Men come in different shades/It’s how we’re made.”
The slow, soulful song washed over me. I immediately recognized it; it was the song ‘These Days’ by The Black Keys. Their album ‘Brothers’ had been one that Jameson and I had spent a lot of time listening to when we laid in bed and talked at night. The emotions behind the words tore at my heart. It was a song of apology, pain, longing, of remembering the good times and wishing you could go back and of being tired.
My eyes quickly filled with tears and I tried to blink them away, but it was no use. The second message started playing before I had a chance to pull myself together.
“Message two. Wednesday at 1:52pm: Girl you treat me bad and I know why/I’ve seen you running around with another guy/And you think if you hurt me then I’d go away/But I’ve made up my mind/You know I’m… I’m here to stay.”
This time it was Jameson himself singing “Never Gonna Give You Up” by the same band and playing acoustic guitar. My tears had suddenly turned into a flood and I threw my phone across the room, just wanting to shut him out, to make the gut-wrenching pain stop. What have I done to him? My sweet, soulful Jameson… I had ripped his heart out and stomped on it. I felt like the worst person in the entire world. I had blamed him and broken up with him because of what Archer, Hunter, and Trey did to me. He was innocent; he didn’t deserve what I did to him. After all, he saved my life when Hunter’s Divine Power caused me to have a heart attack. Without his healing power, I probably would have died.
I wanted to talk to him, to call him and tell him how sorry I was for hurting him, but I knew I couldn’t. Archer asked me not to talk to Jameson while he was on the road. He thought my condition would be a distraction for him. Now I understood there was more to it; I had been distracting him the whole time he had been gone. He didn’t need me reappearing in his life after he had started to get over me. I may be a bitch, but I wasn’t a heartless bitch. I’d keep my promise to Archer and not call him.
Besides, what could I say to him? I’m sorry? Sorry I broke your heart into a million little pieces? Sorry I fell in love with your brother; your father? I’m sorry I fell in love with two men at the same time?
I heard my phone beep again and glanced over at what was left of it. It had been completely smashed, but somehow it was still playing my messages.
“Message three. Saturday at 6:51pm: Darling, it’s your mother. I think Professor Fitzhugh found a position for you at the history museum in downtown Houston. Isn’t that exciting? You need to call me back, please. Why aren’t you answering your phone? Hope you are well. Love you.”
I groaned as I flashed over to the pieces of my BlackBerry and stomped on them, silencing the voices for good. Not only did I have to worry about how much I hurt Jameson, I had to worry about my meddling mother trying to find