The word barely left my lips before she closed the door.
I turned away and paused in front of the mirror of the vanity, picking up the brush and working it through the tangles before quickly braiding it. My green eyes looked huge against my pale cheeks.
With a heavy sigh, I walked across the room, grabbed my phone, and opened the door, jumping when someone was waiting on the other side.
“Shit,” I muttered, pressing a hand to my racing heart.
“I’m sorry,” Nikolai apologized, looking genuinely contrite. “I was debating whether or not to knock. If you were sleeping, I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Um, no,” I mumbled, closing the door. “I was just going to try and figure out where exactly dinner is.”
He grinned at me. “May I escort you then?”
“Sure,” I said slowly.
He nodded to the phone in my hand as he started walking. “Did you speak to your mate?”
“I texted him,” I replied. “I’ll call him when we get done eating.”
He seemed to hesitate. “And your mother?”
“I’ll call her, too,” I answered.
“You and your mother are close?” His gaze darted questioningly to me.
I nodded. “Yeah. We’ve been through a lot together.”
“At your former pack,” he said, his voice even and giving nothing away.
“Yeah.” I almost choked on the word.
“You look like her,” he said suddenly, smiling when I frowned. “Your mother. You have her eyes.”
“Markham eyes,” I muttered. The same eyes my uncle and grandfather had. “Family trait.”
“It was her eyes that caught my attention first,” he confessed.
My breath caught, and I didn’t want to speak or breathe too hard in case it snapped him out of whatever memory he was clearly in.
“We were at a pub.” He frowned and chuckled as we turned down the hallway. “A bar, I believe is what she called it. Her eyes drew me in.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. Mom never talked about her life before the omega house. She had shared a few stories, but I stopped asking about them when I realized how much it cost her. How much the memories haunted and tormented her.
“There was a beautiful sort of sadness to her. Like a tragic painting you wanted to know the story of.”
I could see that. Mom’s life was definitely a tragedy.
“I don’t know much about her life before … me,” I answered softly as we reached the stairs and started going down.
“She never spoke of her childhood?” He seemed surprised.
I hesitated on the last step and Nikolai turned to look at me. My hand curled into the wooden railing, holding on for support.
“Mom never talked about any of that,” I said slowly, not sure how much I should tell him before I was betraying her confidence.
“Dimitri told me that your life in Long Mesa was … less than desirable.” His mouth curled like he had tasted something rotten.
I snorted. “It was hell. Complete and utter hell. And Mom endured a lot more than I did. She protected me as much as she could, and she saved me when she had to.”
“And who protected her?” he asked curiously, his dark eyes cold.
“No one,” I replied, meeting his gaze. “I don’t know what happened between you and my mother. I asked her, but every time … It was too hard for her to talk about. So, I stopped asking. I hated causing her pain when every day was hell on Earth for her.”
The corners of his mouth tightened, his nostrils flaring slightly.
I leaned a hip on the railing. “Look, I have no idea what happened between you two back when you met or bonded. But I do know that my mom spent the last eighteen years focusing on surviving and keeping us both alive. I don’t think she had a choice.”
“She could have called,” he replied coldly. “I would have come for her. For you.”
I shook my head slowly. “No, she couldn’t have. We didn’t have a phone or internet or any way to communicate outside of the pack. The only reason we escaped was because of my Aunt Zara.” I flinched, remembering Zara and Bella had paid the price for that heavily.
He rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. “Unfortunately there is no going back, is there?”
“No,” I agreed. “All we can do is move forward.”
His gaze sharpened on me. “And will I be in that future you move forward to?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer, so I deflected the question. “Do you want to be in my future?”