him for a while and share a drink or two. Jack would eventually tell him, he knew that. He only hoped he had the right answers when the discussion started. His friend needed help but he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to listen. Ron had to get through to him somehow.
In the meantime, he headed for the kitchen to get the beer and the whiskey.
A couple of beers and one shot later, the real discussion began.
“Did you ever make a monumental mistake, Ronnie? One you didn’t think you’d recover from?”
“Tons of ’em.”
“I’m not talking about failed businesses and shit like that. I’m talking about something that goes to your core, that affects who you are.”
“I know what you’re talking about, Jack. I left my first wife and my son. He grew up without me around. That was a fundamental, monumental fuckup that I still regret to this day.”
“How do you deal with it?”
“I can’t change it. I just have to go on and I have to make up for it in some way with the people I meet. I have to give more of myself because I didn’t in the past.”
“That’s it?”
“I tried to make it up to my son but he resented me. We’re a little better now but it’ll never be great. At least I’m still here. At least I can help him if he needs it.”
“I don’t have that option. I caused a woman to lose her life and her father to lose his daughter after already losing his wife. How do you remedy that?”
“You didn’t cause anybody to lose their life, Jack. You represented a man who you believed was innocent. Apache County set him free, for Christ’s sake, not you. They could have prosecuted him for that attempted murder. A judge could have put him away for another twenty-five years but the county chose not to do so.”
“I represented a serial killer, Ronnie.” Jack leaned over the table until his face was almost in Ron’s. He started to fall off his chair. Ron caught him and straightened him back up. He kept talking as if he hadn’t noticed what had happened. “Danni told me not to do it. She told me I was getting into something I knew nothing about. I refused to listen.”
“Think about all the people you’ve helped, Jack, because you didn’t prejudge, you didn’t listen to anybody—you relied only on the facts. You’re not perfect, my friend. You were bound to make a mistake. If there weren’t people like you, Jack, a lot of innocent folks would have been executed.”
“You don’t understand, Ronnie. This was a serial killer.” He leaned in and almost toppled over again. Ron knew it wouldn’t be long before he was sleeping it off.
“I’m sure I don’t understand, Jack. It was an awesome responsibility. But it’s over. You need to find a purpose again. Maybe you won’t be able to do this death row stuff for a while, but you can do something for the greater good. Something worthwhile. That’s who you are. Wasn’t it you who told me you have to give back to the universe to even things out?”
“Don’t hit me with that garbage now. And you’re still not getting it. I’m not talking about responsibility, I’m talking about arrogance. Why did I think I was smarter than the people who put this guy away?”
“I’m sure you had your reasons, and they were good reasons. I’ve met a lot of arrogant bastards in my time and you’re not one of them. You’re the opposite of that.”
Just then the front doorbell rang. The doorbell, Ron thought to himself. Why didn’t I think of that? He knew the answer. He’d knocked on doors his whole life. There weren’t any tenement apartments in New York with doorbells.
“I’ll get it,” Ron said.
“No, no, I’ll get it,” Jack said as he once again almost fell off the chair.
“Then I’ll go with you,” Ron said as he caught Jack on his right side and steadied him. Together they went to the front door. Ron opened it to find two Oakville police officers standing there.
“Officers, can I help you?” Jack said.
“Are you Jack Tobin?”
“In the flesh.”
It was apparent to the two cops that Jack was drunk since he was swaying back and forth, and Ron was still holding his right arm.
“We have been asked to give you a message by Assistant Chief Martin. He says to tell you that you might want to go back home,” one of the officers said.