you who was a painfully shy kid and who freaked out on the swings when I tried to kiss her. You don’t have to be just one version of yourself. You’re far more dynamic than that.”
I wiped my eyes again. “Thank you.”
She kissed me very carefully. “I gotta tell you,” she said, “if I was that fancy old rich lady who sent you a message in a bottle, I’d tell you so many beautiful things about yourself, you’d never have to worry again.”
She kissed my forehead and led me back into the house.
* * *
Ricky stayed with me for most of the day. He cooked omelets with peppers and cheese, all the while telling me that everything would be okay. He was more settled in himself, more open and tender than he’d been with me before. Beyond the terrible weight of my fight with Maritza and JaKory, I was happy for him.
“What happens with you and Tucker now?” I asked.
He shrugged, but it was a more peaceful shrug than I’d seen before. “We’ll take it one step at a time. First things first, I’m taking him to dinner on Wednesday.”
We smiled across the counter. Nothing more needed to be said. Then together we cleaned the house from top to bottom, just as we’d done that afternoon in May, until there was no sign of partying to be found.
It didn’t matter; my parents found out anyway. Grant had called them when he couldn’t get ahold of me to pick him up, and when my mom had called Mrs. Stinch, our neighbor, to check on me, Mrs. Stinch had told her about the line of cars and pulsing music. “I never took Codi for a partier, Jen,” she’d told my mom, which was just about the most passive-aggressive line I could think of.
My parents were at a loss for what to do with me. It seemed beyond their conception of possibility that I had enough friends to throw a party in the first place. When they asked me straight up if I had in fact thrown a party and I responded with a calm and matter-of-fact “Yes,” they simply stared at me in bewilderment.
“I was very responsible about it, if that helps anything,” I told them. “Nothing got broken or stained, and nobody threw up anywhere.”
They exchanged a look; it was clear they had no idea how to handle this. Finally, my mom held her hand out and said, “Give us your keys. You’re grounded for a week. Totes-n-Goats and this house, those are the only two places you’re allowed.” She looked at my dad, as if to check that that’s how it was done. He merely shrugged and raised his eyebrows.
I stayed quiet, grateful that my punishment wasn’t worse. It crossed my mind that I would be losing a full weekend—and there were only three left before school started—but one weekend of being grounded didn’t seem like a bad trade-off for the first party I’d ever thrown.
“And go apologize to your brother,” my mom said. “You left him hanging, and that wasn’t right.”
Grant was in his room, the door shut, muffled music playing from his laptop. I knocked and heard the swivel of his desk chair.
“What?” he said when he opened the door.
“Can I talk to you?”
He looked suspicious. “About what?”
“I don’t know, Grant, just let me in.”
He stepped back but left the door only narrowly open, so that I had to squeeze through the doorframe while he watched me. I walked toward his desk and leaned against the window, looking out on the driveway below. He really could see everything from here.
“So?” he said.
I turned around to look at him.
“Sorry I forgot to pick you up from your friend’s house.”
Grant’s eyes burned into mine. “It was really shitty.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Darin’s parents were pissed. They wanted everyone out by nine thirty so they could go to church. You said you would be there by nine fifteen.”
“And I forgot, and I’m sorry. It’s not like I’ve ever done this to you before. How many times have I picked you up from basketball camp or the movies or your other friends’ houses? And I’m always on time, and I never complain if you’re late.”
“Don’t act like you do that to be nice or something. You only do it because Mom and Dad make you.”
I ignored this and launched an attack of my own. “You didn’t have to call Maritza and JaKory. I told you in the car that I wasn’t talking to them yet.”