hookup spots; then some baseball players rolled in, hugging me and clasping hands with Ricky; and before I knew it, the kitchen had swelled with more people than Ricky and I had anticipated. It was a wild juxtaposition: the counter where my brother ate ravioli, now the scene of Samuel and some other guys chugging Bud Light; the table where Maritza and JaKory and I had built our Egyptian pyramids for sixth-grade history class, now the spot where Terrica had corralled some girls into beer pong; the foot of the stairs where my mom pulled her work flats on in the mornings, now the place where Ricky stood waiting for Tucker.
And then suddenly Lydia was there.
I hadn’t seen her come in, but I heard a swell of voices and turned to find everyone greeting Lydia, Natalie, and Cliff. I stood frozen, watching her, the surreal thrill of having her in my house washing over me.
She met my eyes and blinked really fast, and she smiled so big that I thought everyone must have noticed. She hugged me tightly, and over her shoulder, I caught Natalie grinning at us.
Lydia looked like she wanted to say something, but there were people everywhere. Julie Nguyen was baking cheese fries in the oven and Aliza Saylor was already on her second Lime-A-Rita. I took Lydia’s hand and led her out to the garage, where it was empty and quiet.
“You look beautiful,” she told me, her eyes sweeping over my dress.
I was so giddy I started to laugh, and Lydia laughed, too, and we couldn’t stop looking at each other, holding each other’s sweaty hands in the humid, dimly lit garage.
“Here,” I said, pulling two striped lawn chairs over to the driveway, “sit and have a beer with me.”
“You’re ditching your own party?”
“Small get-togethers are more my thing,” I said, raising my eyebrows.
“I noticed,” she said, “and look how that worked out for me.”
We sat there for a while, side by side with a cold beer each, looking out on the dark summer night. Lydia took my hand and ran her fingers along my skin, and when I looked at her, neither one of us could stop smiling.
We finished our beers and stood up to go back inside, but I took her hand before she could open the door. We looked at each other for a beat, and then I leaned forward and kissed her. It felt as scary and wonderful as it had the night before.
She kissed me back, and it went on longer this time, until suddenly we heard—
“Whoa!”
It was Tucker, frozen in the driveway, the floodlights too bright on his face.
“I’m sorry,” he said, backing away, his hand extended like he was trying to push himself as far back as possible.
I was still holding Lydia’s arm. We looked at each other, and I knew she wasn’t afraid.
“It’s fine, Tucker,” I said. “Do you want a beer?”
He remained frozen as I moved toward him with the beer in my hand. He took it but didn’t open it. There was a long, awkward pause.
“It’s really okay,” Lydia said from behind us. “Here, one second, Codi and I need a refill, too.”
She brought me a new beer. I opened it, and Tucker opened his. The three of us stood in a loose circle, drinking under the floodlights in my driveway.
“I didn’t mean to walk up on you,” Tucker mumbled, not looking at either one of us. “Sorry I’m late for your party.”
I looked at Lydia again, and she had this look in her eyes I’d never seen before—like she trusted I knew how to handle it, and like she believed there was something wonderful in me.
“I’m glad you came,” I told Tucker, tapping my beer can against his. “Everyone will be happy to see you.”
* * *
There are many things I could say about that night. It was the third party I’d been to that summer—or fourth, if you counted Ricky’s—and I understood the flow of the ritual by then. I was at once electrified and at ease to be the one hosting it. I looked around my kitchen at all these other kids my age, laughing and beaming with that late-summer glow, their bare skin catching the light and their summer hair long and shaggy and shining. We told stories, we took turns getting drinks, we squabbled over the music and made fun of Cliff’s dance moves. I talked to new people, but also to people I’d gotten to know over the last two