didn’t say a thing about a romance, did I? Hmmm?” She waltzed out, content with having the last word.
I slumped against my chair, letting my head roll back. It was all too much. The kids. Solitude. The bills. The threat to Maisie’s life. Beckett’s presence threw my carefully constructed system out of whack.
Sure, he was good-looking. And maybe Ryan had trusted him. But that didn’t mean I did. It didn’t mean that I had the capacity to even think about him. Except, well, when I obviously did. But it wasn’t like I thought about him on purpose. He just snuck into my thoughts, invaded really, the same way he’d barged into my life.
I looked at the bulletin board next to my desk. It was bare except for the eight-by-eleven sheet of paper that had one message in big, block letters.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
Chaos. I missed him with an ache that was almost irrational considering I’d never met him. I didn’t even have a picture to mourn, just his letters, that written voice that had stretched across thousands of miles and somehow reached my soul.
And now he was gone just like everyone else.
And Ryan had sent Beckett. At least, that’s what Beckett had said.
But I’d never actually seen the letter. I should have looked at the letter. That’s what any rational woman would have done when a stranger showed up claiming to have been sent by her dead brother. She checked up on his claim.
I, however, had accepted it at face value. There had been something in his voice, his eyes, that simply felt like truth. But if there was one thing I couldn’t handle, it was a lie. If he was lying in any way, I needed to know now.
Screw it.
I pushed back from the desk and was in the living room before I could give any clear thought to the matter, asking Hailey to listen for the kids. She agreed, her spoon halfway through a pint of ice cream that was consoling her from her most recent flavor-of-the-month breakup.
I grabbed my coat on the way out the back door and was halfway to Beckett’s house before I had the urge to turn and run. What the hell was I doing? Showing up at his house in the middle of the night? Okay, maybe it wasn’t quite the middle of the night, but it was dark, so it qualified.
Using my phone as a flashlight, I walked the shore of the lake, telling myself how stupid this was with each step until I looked up and saw the light on through his windows. Then I started up the path to his front door.
Why couldn’t this wait? Why now? What was I hoping to gain, besides the truth of whether or not Ryan had sent him? Why did it matter now and not two weeks ago when he’d shown up and altered my sense of gravity? Why— Oh. Apparently I’d just knocked on his front door.
I guess that decision was made.
Run away, the immature nineteen-year-old inside me urged. Seemed the romantic part of my development had frozen at the age I’d shoved her into yet another box and slammed the lid home.
You’re not a child, the mature part of me countered.
Before I could get into any more arguments with myself that might land me in the psych ward, the door swung open.
Holy. Shit. He was shirtless.
“Ella?”
And barefoot. Just workout pants.
“Ella, is everything okay?”
What the hell kind of body was that? How did a natural man have so many muscles, all hard and toned and cut in lines that seemed carved for a mouth? My mouth.
Two firm hands clasped my shoulders. “Ella?”
I shook my head, like I could shake the thoughts out, and dragged my eyes from the incredible shape of his torso past his whisker-stubbled neck, to those freaking eyes. I liked green. Green was an awesome color.
Green. Green. Green.
“Everything is fine. Sorry,” I muttered, knowing I sounded like an idiot. “I didn’t expect…” I motioned to his body.
“You thought someone else would be home?”
“No. I just thought maybe you’d have clothes on. Like a normal person.” I forced a shrug, and he let go of my arms.
Then he grinned.
Ugh. He really was incredibly handsome. Annoyingly so.
“My apologies. I will remember to check with you before I work out next time. Come on in. I’ll grab a shirt.” He held open the door so I could slide past him.
And he smelled good while working out? What kind of sorcery was this? Was this