I know this sounds crazy, but the only person I want right now is you. You’re the only person I’ve been completely honest with these last few months. You’re the only person who might understand the debilitating, soul-crushing grief that I can’t even begin to fathom. Because I know, as much as you swear you don’t know what family is, Ryan was your brother. He was your family.
I’m just hoping you come for his funeral, because I know he would have wanted you here. I know I do. And if you can’t come, then I hope you’re not changing your plans. Please come to Telluride. Even if it’s just to get a cup of coffee with me. Please come.
~ Ella
…
I read the letter for the hundredth time or so, and then put it back into my nightstand drawer. I’d avoided that letter, and the two that had followed, for the last sixteen months, and now it was all I wanted to read—to hear her voice in my head.
If I’d read it when she’d sent it, instead of hiding it away, I would have come. I never could have denied her, and everything would have been different. Then again, Ryan would still be dead because of me, so maybe not.
I came down the stairs of my new house to find Havoc napping in the sun that came through the floor-to-second-story windows in my great room. I’d had a section of the trees cleared so I could see the island that perched in the middle of the tiny lake. Luckily, with the angle my house was at, I couldn’t see Ella’s house.
Maybe I was torturing myself keeping Ryan’s grave in sight, but knowing Ella was this close and so damn far was way worse. It had been over a month since she’d walked out of my cabin. My things had arrived that afternoon. My entire role in Ella’s life came down to four moving boxes.
As breakups went, I’d expected screaming, shrieking, throwing things at me for what I’d done, but her stoic silence was worse. She’d accepted that we were done, and now I had to move on without her and the kids.
God, I missed the kids. Falling for Ella had tied me to them in a way that was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing for all they taught me, for the love I hadn’t realized I’d even been able to feel. A curse because Ella cut off all my access, as was her right. She didn’t trust me, and that extended to the kids. Her heart was broken over me, but my heart was shattered over the loss of all three of them.
I sighed at the sight of my empty living room. I really needed to buy some furniture. I had the bedroom covered, and most of the kitchen stuff was being delivered daily, thanks to Amazon. But the rest of the furniture just didn’t seem important, because this was my house but for some reason didn’t feel like my home.
My phone rang as I opened the fridge to figure out some lunch.
“Gentry,” I answered, wondering who had gotten themselves lost this time. As spring came to the area, more hikers were showing up and getting altitude sickness, or lost, or breaking their bones in inconvenient locations.
“Mr. Gentry? I’m so sorry to bother you. This is Principal Halsen over here at the elementary school. I happen to have Colton in the office.”
My stomach lurched. “Is he okay? Is he hurt?” Why were they calling me?
“No, no. Nothing like that. He actually got into an altercation today with a classmate and needs to go home.”
“A fight?” No way. Not Colt. Sure, the kid got fired up, but I’d never seen him get violent unless it was over Maisie.
“Yep, a fight.”
“Whoa. Did you call his mom?”
“We tried, but she’s not answering, and Colt told us that she’s in Montrose for one of Margaret’s therapies. I was hoping you might be able to come pick him up.”
I pulled the phone away from my ear and checked the number, just to make sure I wasn’t being pranked. “Pick him up?” I asked slowly.
“Yes. Policy demands that he go home for the day, and you’re the second name on his emergency contact sheet.”
Shit. Ella hadn’t updated the kids’ information yet. Which meant I might get to see Colt. I slammed the door on my excitement. Ella didn’t want me to see him, and I had no right to.