The Last Letter from Juliet - Melanie Hudson Page 0,82

it wouldn’t be for several months more that I would discover just how risky and complicated their operation was. I would also learn that Pa Lanyon had known the true nature of their work all along, but none of this information came to light tonight. Tonight was for sharing the significantly reduced and somewhat meagre feast from our Christmas table and, in so many ways, making the best of a bad lot.

Lottie had pulled out all the stops in terms of choice of outfit and was looking fabulous – if on tenterhooks – waiting for Edward to arrive. Charles chose not to stand in the hallway but to sit in the lounge by the fire, with the family’s King Charles Spaniel by his side. My heart went out to Charles, but it seemed that every single time I tried to get close to him, he pushed me away. I was a prisoner in a marriage neither party wanted and Charles wasn’t even trying to mask the estrangement any more, which meant my disastrous marriage would be laid bare tonight for all to see – for Edward to see. And yet, would he even care? Edward was expecting to spend the evening with Lottie and with the way Lottie looked tonight, who could blame him.

Anna – at my insistence – had brought Bill to the party, but she stood by my side as we welcomed guests, offering drinks. Eats did not match up to pre-war standards, but Ma Lanyon and Lottie had done us proud with the little they had and as the guests filtered in, just for a moment, one might almost – almost – have forgotten about the war. Edward was the last to arrive. I saw him before he saw me. I took Anna’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

‘He’s here!’ Lottie squealed, rushing to the door to welcome him.

‘She’ll never get him to fall for her behaving like that …’ Anna whispered in my ear. ‘I can see why you like him though. Quite the dish!’

With her widowhood seemingly forgotten, Lottie – dear, sweet, naïve Lottie – ushered Edward towards the welcoming party for introductions.

‘This is Edward,’ she said to us all, beaming. ‘Edward – from left to right – this is Anna, Bill and finally, my brother’s wife, Juliet – oh, I forgot, you already met, didn’t you? Years ago!’

Edward looked directly at me.

‘It was four years ago almost exactly,’ he said.

Anna held out her hand, despite having met him briefly before. ‘Pleased to meet you, Edward.’

Edward did not look at me for a moment longer than is usual during an introduction. We shook hands but it was too much for me. I couldn’t maintain the pretence. ‘I’m sorry, you’ll have to excuse me, Lottie. I really should see if Charles is all right.’ I turned to Edward. ‘Have a good evening, Edward. It’s … good, to see you again.’

He nodded and for a moment I thought I saw a flicker of … warmth?

I sat with Charles on the periphery for a while. At times he was almost tender and I wondered, not unkindly, if this tenderness was something of a show on his behalf, to save face for both of us, but who on earth could tell what Charles was thinking anymore. The whole evening was a confusing mess.

By nine-thirty Lottie decided to fill the house with music and established a make-shift dance hall in the dining room. Anna appeared by my side at ten o’clock. She had left Bill in the lounge, talking to Charles.

‘How’s tricks?’ she asked, watching Edward and Lottie move around the floor to a catchy big band song playing on the gramophone.

‘I’m fine.’

‘Really? I wouldn’t be.’

‘Charles is behaving like a husband – well, almost. Edward has clearly forgotten me and I’m happy playing out the role of the dutiful wife. And in two days’ time you and I will go home. It’s all fine and exactly how it should be, truly.’

She took a deep breath. ‘Fine is how people describe a situation when in reality they are feeling awful. You deserve better than “fine”.’ She squeezed my arm. ‘I want you to be wonderful, not fine’.

We stood in silence and watched the dancers.

‘What’s he playing at, do you think?’ Anna asked, nodding towards Edward.

It was my turn to sigh and shake my head.

‘I doubt he’s playing at anything. I don’t think “playing” is Edward’s style. Do remember that I consistently walk away from his advances and I am married. Why